Last weekend I rededicated myself to a promise I made years ago. 

No, I didn’t renew my wedding vows.  I decided to renew my efforts to fall in love with the city of Birmingham. I spent last Friday night and Saturday and Sunday afternoons at the Sidewalk Film Festival, an annual independent film festival held in various venues of downtown Birmingham. (I wrote stories on the film Our Mockingbird and the short documentaries produced by University of Alabama at Birmingham students for Magic City Post.) I had a blast and the weekend made me realize that Birmingham really can make me happy if I give her a chance.

So, this fall I plan to attend as many events as I can. Just around the corner is the Birmingham Public Library’s second Eat Drink Read Write Festival, which is set for Sept. 8 - 15, 2012. The Birmingham Public Library has joined forces with several Birmingham food organizations to present this year’s event. Presentations will include good food and good conversation from national and local food and beer experts. All events are free and will feature food tastings, a cooking class, a food documentary and more. Events will be held at the downtown public library, Pepper Place and the Desert Island Supply Co. in Woodlawn.

Five reasons I’m excited about this event:

I love food. Saturday, Sept. 8 I plan to head to the Pepper Place Farmer’s Market where Birmingham storyteller Katie Elkins will perform stories related to food. The Desert Island Supply Co. will lead informal produce-themed writing workshops for children and adults. The library will offer food-related crafts. And, of course, while I’m there I can buy fresh food to cook up that evening.

I love stories. I can’t wait to attend Food Stories on Wednesday, Sept. 12 at the Desert Island Supply Co., 5500 First Ave. North. For this event participants will have five minutes to tell a true, personal story about food. No notes allowed. This presentation is modeled after National Public Radio's "The Moth: True Stories Told Live.'' Birmingham Originals member restaurants will provide refreshments. Reservations are required so visit http://foodstories2012.eventbrite.com/ to register today.

I love movies. Unfortunately, I missed the screening of the documentary Eating Alabama at the Sidewalk Film Festival this weekend, but I will get a second chance on Thursday, Sept. 13. Tuscaloosa filmmaker Andrew Beck will share his documentary Eating Alabama: A Story About Why Food Matters and then lead a discussion about it. The film is about a young couple setting out to eat the way their grandparents did, locally and seasonally. However, they soon realize that nearly everything about today's food  system has changed from the past. To reserve your spot at this screening visit http://eatingalabama.eventbrite.com/.

I love poetry. It’s really a shame that I have yet to attend the library's popular Bards & Brews monthly poetry performance and beer-tasting event. But on Sept. 14 I plan to finally check it out. On this night  Chef Corey Hinkel of MIX Bakery and Cafe will discuss beer and cheese pairings. Chef Chris Dupont of MIX Bakery and Cafe and Cafe Dupont will prepare appetizers, using ingredients donated by Whole Foods Market. There will also be a poetry slam and prizes to the top three winners. Avondale Brewing Co., Back Forty Beer Co., Bell's Brewery and Good People Brewing Co. will furnish the beer. The Reflections, a band made up of library employees, is also set to perform.

I love wine. I’m not proud of this but last year I unlocked the wino badge on Foursquare. But I was pretty excited when I learned that at most events attendees can get two free drinks (craft beer or wine), courtesy of The J. Clyde.

If you’re in Birmingham and would like to attend any of these events with me, give me a shout on Twitter @writeousbabe.

Click here for a complete list of events.  

When Texas socialite Joanne King Herring, the woman portrayed by Julia Roberts in the movie Charlie Wilson’s War, wanted help writing her memoir she didn’t choose a big shot author from the New York Times best seller list. No, it was Birmingham’s own Nancy Dorman-Hickson who was selected for the job, thanks to her Southern roots and her ability to find common ground with people.

The importance of being able to relate well to others was just one of the many tips Dorman-Hickson offered Tuesday evening during her presentation “A Ghost Story: My Life as a Co-Writer and Print/Web Writer.”

At this event, hosted by my organization See Jane Write Birmingham, Dorman-Hickson discussed ghostwriting and collaborative writing, freelance writing, and personal branding to a crowd of 30 local writers. 

Is co-writing for you?

The primary difference between ghostwriting and co-writing is with ghostwriting you won’t receive any credit for helping with the book. Your name won’t appear on the cover and you’ll even have to sign a contract stating that you won’t reveal your connection to the project. With co-writing, you will receive credit, but it’s still important to check your ego at the door. As Dorman-Hickson explained when recounting her experience with Herring,  the person you’re working with gets the final word when making creative decisions.

With co-writing, you may be paid a flat or hourly rate. Dorman-Hickson said that on average the hourly rate is about $73 per hour. Flat rates run the gamut and can range from $6,000 to $150,000, but typically average at about $22,000.

To be a successful co-writer you need much more than good writing skills. This is a job that will call for you to be an editor and to manage people.

If you think co-writing is for you, one of the best ways to land co-writing gigs is by networking with other co-writers. You should also place a profile on PublishersMarketplace.com, Dorman-Hickson recommended. And don't be afraid to approach prominent people and offer to help them tell their story.

 

The Truth About Freelancing

During her talk, Dorman-Hickson was very honest about the realities of freelancing. It is nearly impossible to survive as a full-time freelancer these days because most publications pay writers such meager fees. But don't be discouraged. Learn to maximize each assignment you get and also think outside the box. Market your writing services to companies that haven't been hit as hard by the economic downturn.

Buidling Your Brand

Dorman-Hickson also discussed personal branding because whether you want to admit it or not, to be a successful writer, you have to build a successful brand for yourself. This may sound like a daunting task, but it can be easier than you think. A few things you'll need: business cards, a website and/or blog, and an e-newsletter.

You can even use your email signature and your voicemail greeting as promotion tools.

Give presentations to writing groups and book clubs.

And work on your elevator speech. Be sure that you can give a short, yet captivating description of what you do at a moment's notice.

 

One of the things from Dorman-Hickson's talk that stood out to me most is the idea that one of the best ways to help your writing career is to help other writers with their careers. That's exactly what I strive to do with See Jane Write. It's nice to know I'm on the right track.

 

Scenes from the See Jane Write August Event

Hey babes! Today’s post is by one of my favorite writeous babes, Mariam Williams of RedboneAfropuff.com.  Mariam shares her struggle with balancing fitness goals with her writing aspirations and her feminist ideals.

I wish I had the kind of metabolism that would allow me to abandon exercise all together. Including round-trip travel time, I spend about ten hours a week in pursuit of fitness. That doesn’t include the time it takes to wrap up whatever I was doing before the gym and change clothes, cook healthy meals, or sleep so that my muscles can recover and so I won’t use food to replenish the energy that rest should.

I shouldn’t feel bad about this, but truth is, it’s not all about health and fitness. The Writeous Babe’s post about pole dancing and feminism reminded me that my top priority in working the gym like a part-time job is to look good. I want to feel confident in my own skin, and having been about 50 pounds over the recommended weight for my height, I know I don’t feel confident about all the brilliance I have to present if I don’t think I look good.

As a writer and as a feminist, this causes a real conflict for me. A recent television appearance on a local talk show put all the negative thoughts I had 35 pounds ago—I never lost the last 15—back into my mind. I listened to myself on the half-hour broadcast, because after looking at me for 30 seconds, I was picking myself apart. Next major purchase: braces and shaving off those vampire teeth. I look better with glasses. I should’ve worn my hair in a style that shortens and frames my face.

I went after my sound, too. I wish I had the host’s voice. I should’ve done a vocal warm-up on the drive up there. Too much nervous laughter. Should’ve phrased that differently. I’m so not cut out for everything I claim to be.

           

Some of my self-deprecation is genuine criticism I can use to improve and grow. The rest is me engaging in the very behavior I shake my head at on the show: feeling so incapable of achieving unrealistic beauty ideals that my confidence in my intelligence and the craft I should nurture and take pride in gets shattered. I was telling myself I’m not good enough to be the writer, performer, public speaker, etc. the host introduced me as, even though those titles reflect the skills, talents and accomplishments that got me on the show in the first place.

And that’s why I feel bad about my “pursuit of fitness.” I’ve known since I hit that ugly pre-pubescent stage I sometimes feel I never grew out of that my face and body wouldn’t be my way into magazines and onto television. Writing would be. But am I writing 10+ hours a week? Pursuing it like the part-time job it’s become?

No. After a long day of working one of my six other part-time gigs or before starting them, I often have just enough energy or time for one activity: writing or exercising. I usually choose exercise. And as a sedentary (read: low calorie-burning) activity, writing is even less appealing when I’ve already sat for most of the day. Yes, it’s life-threatening to have a sedentary career, but I know that’s not why my workout trumps my writing time.

So I’m admitting it and challenging myself to find emotionally healthy ways to be a fit feminist writer.

How many other writeous babes out there have felt this way? Is a writer’s sedentary lifestyle a genuine health concern for you? Does your body confidence influence your writing confidence?

Mariam Williams is a body-conscious feminist and artist using the power of the pen to change her Louisville, Ky. home and the world. She blogs at RedboneAfropuff.com. Follow her on Twitter at
@missmariamw.

When I found this print online last month I had to have it in my classroom this year.
You can get it here. 

I can't believe that today is the first day of school. Seems like just yesterday I was dancing down the halls blasting Alice Cooper's "School's Out for Summer" on the last teacher work day of the 2011-2012 school year. (Yes, this is what teachers do when students aren't around.)

Yesterday a friend asked me what my expectations were for this school year and I answered honestly: "I have none." I've learned that things never turn out the way you thought they would. I did, however, decide to write down intentions for the new school year, just as I do for the new calendar or as my birthday approaches.

Here are my intentions for the new school year:

Be a good role model. Whether we want to be or not, teachers are role models, so I'm going to make it a point to be a positive one, especially for my female students. Aside from working to ignite a love for reading within my students and working to inspire them to write, I want to help them be confident too. And, along with encouraging them, one way to do that is to lead by example. I don't want my students, especially my female students, to ever overhear me speaking disparagingly about myself. We need to be careful to never say things like "I'm so stupid" or "This makes me look fat" or "My hair looks awful today" around teens.

Read for pleasure. This is another instance in which I need to lead by example. I'm constantly encouraging my students to read things other than the books I assign them, but most of the time I also push aside the reading I want to do because I spend so much of my free time rereading what we're studying in class as I try to revamp my lesson plans. This year I'm going to make it a point to read at least one book that isn't on my syllabus each month.

Let bad days roll off my back. Last year I had one class (actually one student in one class) that was extremely challenging for me and whenever I'd have a bad time in that class I'd let it ruin my whole day. Even if my other classes went along famously, I would go home focused on that one bad class period. This year I'm not going to let small challenges take the joy out of teaching.

Manage my time wisely. About four times a year, usually around the end of the 9-week grading period, I become a complete basketcase as I'm overwhelmed with papers and projects to grade. And this stress usually leads to me neglecting my writing and my exercise regimen for a few weeks. I'm determined to stay on top of things and not let this happen this year.

Set long-term career goals. I'm constantly thinking of my future as a writer, but because I'm so happy with my current teaching position I rarely think about my future as an educator. By the end of this school year I want to establish concrete goals for my teaching career.

Be positive. This year I am going to do my best to stay upbeat and optimistic regardless of what's going on at school or at home. I want to have fun while I'm teaching because if I'm having a blast my students will too.

Be myself. I have a tendency to not be myself at work. I can be shy and quiet around certain colleagues for fear that they'll get the wrong impression of me. Well, this is my fourth year at my school and I think it's time everyone met the real me. And, yes, this means my co-workers should  expect more dancing in the halls.

Photo by Denise Carbonell
Image via Flickr/Creative Commons

Sometimes you need to take a break from taking care of everyone else. Sometimes you need to put yourself first.

But sometimes being selfless is the right thing to do. Sometimes by being selfless you can actually help yourself after all.

I present to you 3 selfish reasons to be selfless:

Being selfless is a great distraction when your life sucks. My family and I have been facing tough times lately. I have exclaimed the phrase "Life sucks!" more times than I care to admit. But, pushing my cares aside, last weekend I threw myself into being a good bridesmaid for my cousin who was marrying the love of her life. On Sunday and Tuesday I made time to hang out with gal pals who have recently given birth and were in need of some adult conversation. I found that when I stopped wallowing in worry and self-pity and decided to focus on other people instead, I was suddenly happier.

Being selfless is more fun than being a jerk. No, really, it is. Earlier this year James Spann, a renowned meteorologist here in the Southeast who has also been recognized for his superb Twitter skills, gave a talk on how to make a difference with social media. During his presentation he said something that really stuck with me: he said that when you start to put other people first that's when life gets good. And he's right. My organization See Jane Write is a perfect example. That networking group for women writers is truly a labor of love. I don't do this for money. When there's a venue to be rented or refreshments to be bought for an event I spend my own cash, cash I don't get back because I'm determined to never charge for See Jane Write events. I don't do this for fame. Most people don't even know who the founder and organizer of See Jane Write is. Frankly, it would probably be easier for me to accomplish my goals as a writer if I didn't spend so much time working on See Jane Write events. But I do it nonetheless. I do it for the sake of the women who attend  the programs and social events and I do it simply because it's fun! I honestly didn't start enjoying my life here in Birmingham until I got connected to the community through this organization.

Being selfless is the pathway to peace. This is something difficult for me to explain, but when I am pouring my energy and time into others without reservation or complaint everything within and around me feels calm. And soon enough, I start to see rewards for my good deeds. I see my work bear fruit. Whether you call it gifts from God, blessings from the universe, good karma or good luck, when you do good things for other people, good things happen to you. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually things start to work out and that sucky life you needed a distraction from becomes an awesome one.

"It’s just hair!" she said in frustration. My friend, we’ll call her K., was sharing with me how out of place she feels at natural hair meetups. K. just didn’t understand why other black women who had decided to stop chemically straightening their hair felt this was some spiritual experience. “I didn’t know I was part of some movement,” she said. “I just decided to cut my hair and stop getting a perm.”

I understand her gripes, but the truth is it’s not just hair, at least not for many women. I started wearing my hair in its naturally curly state over 10 years ago, long before it had become the hip thing to do and at a time when there were no natural hair blogs or YouTube videos to guide me. I wasn’t trying to be part of a movement, either. But once I started to embrace my thick, curly mane, I started to embrace my quirky, offbeat personality too. 

This is a movement because it's a stepping stone toward the goal of creating a new standard of beauty. I've been told by people, people of my own race, that not only is my hair is too curly but my nose is too wide and my skin is too dark. Natural hair, however, is giving so many women, the confidence to define beauty for themselves. 

Now to be clear I'm not implying that black women who chemically straighten their hair are doing so because they're suffering from self-hatred. That's ridiculous. But for me natural hair was a gateway to self-acceptance and I know many, many women who can tell a similar story, stories I've been privileged to share in articles for publications such as Weld for Birmingham. 

Furthermore, natural hair can be the common ground needed to bring women together. I can’t keep count of the number of times that while at a mall, a restaurant, or a grocery store I’ve been approached by a complete stranger who wanted to ask me about the hair products I use. I’ve met women at natural hair meetups hosted by Birmingham Natural Beauties who have become some of my best friends.

In spite of all this, however, I will admit that sometimes I wish it was just hair. Then maybe we wouldn’t have had so many people more focused on Gabby Douglas’ ponytail than her performance at the 2012 London Olympics when she made history and became the first African American to win the all-around gymnastics gold medal.

And if it was just hair perhaps U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Regina M. Benjamin wouldn't have needed to issue a public plea last year asking black women to stop forgoing exercise for fear of a bad hair day. 

And there’s the rub. How can we celebrate our tresses without allowing our hair to dictate our lives? 

This question seemed to be at the heart of a recent Birmingham Natural Beauties meetup held last Tuesday that focused on health and fitness. A few ladies gave tips on how naturalistas could manage their hair and still remain active. Also, Dr. Mia Cowan of MiBella Wellness Center gave diet and exercise tips, speaking on the importance of eating breakfast, getting enough protein in your diet, and adding strength training to your workout regimen. 

While we were all brought together that evening because of hair the message was clear: do not live your life constantly worrying about the cuteness of your coif. How you feel on the inside is much more important than how you look on the outside. 

Image by Lululemon Athletica via Flickr/Creative Commons

Reese Witherspoon lied.

A few years ago in an interview with Glamour magazine, the Academy Award winning actress said that she felt much sexier as a 30-something than she ever did in her 20s. Inspired, I cut out this quote and glued it to my vision board, certain that once in my 30s I’d finally feel sexy. But 30 came and went and no such luck.  

So it was on to plan B in my quest to feel sexy – pole dancing classes! And to live up to my nickname Writeous Babe, of course, I wrote about my experience. You can check out the article here on My Scoop. 

While twirling my body around that vertical steel bar, however, I got to thinking "Is this anti-feminist?" 

Some of the feminists I admire most have argued that the sexiness offered in striptease aerobics classes is fabricated and based on the male gaze.

Sure, many women may attend pole dancing and striptease aerobics classes with a man in mind. Some of the women I interviewed for the My Scoop article admitted that they wanted to leave the class with a few ideas to bring home to their husbands. But is that really so bad? 

And with all the girlish giggling that goes on at these classes, they feel more like a slumber party or a ladies night out than anything and seem to have very little to do with impressing men. 

Furthermore, I believe that unorthodox fitness classes like these encourage women to make the time to exercise because these classes make getting fit fun; and I believe that they can help stressed-out moms feel sexy again.

What I do struggle with, though, is the idea of sexiness. When we say these classes make women feel sexy how exactly are we defining that word? I frequently ask myself: Does sexy simply mean men find me attractive or does sexy mean I love my body because it’s healthy and strong?

What I've realized is that all these years when I've been saying I want to feel sexy what I've really meant is I just want to feel confident and comfortable in my own skin, regardless of how much I weigh or what I'm wearing. Obviously, I don't need to take pole dancing fitness classes for this to happen. But while I was twisting my hips in that mirror I realized that I'm a lot more self-confident than I thought and I realized that maybe Reese Witherspoon was right after all.