April is National Poetry Month and Birmingham-based poet and blogger Gabriel Gadfly has invited his readers to create and submit video on why poetry matters to them. Gabriel has been posting this videos on his blog all month. I just had to join in on the fun and figured I'd post the video here too.

So here is why poetry matters to me...

A feminist in a dress! Gasp!

Can a black woman be a feminist?

I've been told on more than one occasion that the answer to that question is "No!" Last week I shared my story of being told I can't be a feminist because I'm black in a blog post for Birmingham's NPR station WBHM. When someone tells me, however, that I don't look like a feminist -- and I get that comment a lot -- they usually aren't talking about my race. 

Back when I worked for a weekly lifestyles magazine in Louisville, I frequently wrote articles that might have caused female readers to raise their fists in the air and yell "Girl power!" I quickly became known for as the paper's resident feminist. 

Yet, when a young woman from another department came to our office to discuss an idea she had for a women's empowerment project she went to the female reporter who sat in the cubicle next to mine.  She even said to my colleague, "I know you write a lot about feminism and that it's something very important to you." Everyone in the office, including my colleague to whom she was speaking, stared at her with confused looks on their faces. Then my colleague pointed to me and said, "Javacia writes about women's issues. Not me. You're probably talking about her articles." The look of shock on her face was priceless. 

When this woman came to our office in search the resident feminist she didn't even bother asking anyone to point her in the right direction. She walked directly to my colleague. Did she assume that I couldn't have been the feminist writer because I'm black? Possibly, but I doubt my race had much to do with it. 

My co-worker only wore neutral colors and never wore makeup or heels. She also refused to shave her arm pits or legs. Meanwhile, I was probably sitting there in a floral top, trendy jeans and pumps. I'm sure my eyeshadow was perfectly color coordinated with my outfit and my cubicle looked like the color pink had thrown up all over it. In other words, I'm sure that woman didn't come to me because she didn't think I looked like a feminist. 

Can a woman be both feminist and so-called feminine? Absolutely! And frankly I'm tired of having this conversation. It's getting old, people.

Julia Gazdag recently addressed this topic quite wonderfully in a post for Hello Giggles and in that article referenced a quote from Caitlin Moran who reminds us that "the purpose of feminism isn't to make a particular type of woman." 

Gazdag goes on to say: 

The idea that women cannot express their femininity and be autonomous is really saying that women must emulate men to have a voice, when in fact, the goal of feminism is for every woman to feel empowered as a person instead of feeling gendered.

Amen. 

I believe in the equality of the sexes and this is what makes me a feminist. Period. Writing and empowering other women to write is what I consider my calling and this calling has become my form of feminist activism. The validity of my work should not be questioned simply because the finger tips typing my feminist texts are adorned with fuchsia nail polish. 

I wonder if this video will make you cry too. 

Please share your thoughts and reactions. 

Yesterday after the word of the Boston Marathon tragedy reached Alabama, a colleague and Facebook friend posted this status update:

I think that the way we counter fear-mongers is we press on and live the life that's intended for us. Fully. Fearlessly. It's not easy, but it beats the alternative. By a lot.

These words struck something within me and convicted me too. When tragedies strike I often go quiet and I did just that yesterday. Even though I, as usual, obsessively followed the news for more information in an effort to try to understand why something so horrible had happened to these innocent people, I didn’t want to talk or even write about what happened.

This silence begins as an act of reverence. What good will a 140-character tweet do for the families mourning the loss of loved ones? How will a blog post help the injured heal?

So I sit in silence and do the only thing I feel I can do: pray.

But then my silence morphs into something else – fear. It’s because of fear, for example, that I started locking my classroom door after the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown. And yesterday when I glanced at my running shoes in the corner I wanted to throw up and I in that moment I never wanted to run again.

For years I’ve believed that it’s disrespectful to “press on and live” after there has been national tragedy or a great loss in the life of a family member or friend. But I'm starting to realize that not pressing on, that living in a state of overwhelming sorrow or paralyzing fear is actually most dishonorable. By not pressing on we let terrorists -- or the terminal illness or whatever it is that has rocked our country or our family to its core -- win.  

So I will press on. I will write. And I will run.

As Jennifer Dome of Stellar Fashion & Fitness states, anything I write today will not be enough. Anything I write will seem like complete folly compared to what has happened. So, as Dome writes, “All I can do right now is pray. And run. I want to run in honor of everyone who was injured or scared or anyone who responded to the scene to help. I want to run because we have the freedom to do so. We have the ability to do so. And no one can take that away.”

Image by Ralph Daily via Flickr

As I write this I am sitting in Church Street Coffee & Books where I just finished up a photo shoot. 

As a former full-time journalist I have been part of dozens, maybe hundreds, of photo shoots. But I was always there to be the assistant to the photographer who had been assigned to a story I'd written. But for this photo shoot I was actually in front of the camera. One of my favorite magazines is planning to publish a story about me and the work I do for See Jane Write. 

This feels surreal. Honestly, I've been a bit overwhelmed by all the amazing things that have been happening to me lately because of See Jane Write. 

Last Sunday, for example, Wade Kwon showed up at See Jane Write's Bloggers Who Brunch. At the end of the brunch he gave away two free passes to the social media and corporate storytelling conference Y'all Connect. One pass went to a lucky Jane whose name was randomly pulled. The other pass went to me to congratulate me on the success See Jane Write has experienced during its two years of existence. I was as excited as a kid on Christmas Eve. 

Katie of Hems for Her and I showing off our Y'all Connect passes!

And, of course, the magazine I've wanted to start since I was 15 years old is finally going to happen this summer.  Just as See Jane Write Birmingham seeks to inspire and empower women in my city, See Jane Write Magazine will seek to inspire and empower women writers all over the world.

I look back at the third paragraph of this post and notice that I wrote that these things are happening to me because of See Jane Write, and that is partially true. But I am a woman of faith and thus I believe these things are happening to me because God has blessed me with so many great opportunities. So today, I'm counting my blessings and today I am filled with optimism that this is just the beginning. 

And I leave you with a piece of Scripture that I call my life verse and that seems quite apropos as I'm on the brink of seeing my dreams come to fruition:

 “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.”

- Joshua 3:5

I hope that today you believe amazing things are in store for you too. 

Cue Tony! Toni! Tone! It's our anniversary!




Today hubster and I have been married for seven years. We've been celebrating for the past few days trying to relive our first few dates. This has been hilarious because in our old age we're forgetting things  and can't quite get the details right. (Did we have burgers or hotdogs when we had our first indoor picnic?)

For about six of the seven years we've been married I've had people constantly asking me "When are you two going to start a family?"

This question drives me crazy, and not just because I don't want kids. This question bothers me because it implies that a married couple isn't truly a family until they have kids. And I have to disagree.

No, we don't have kids, but we are still a family. We have traditions, great memories, and unconditional love for each other -- and that's what family is all about. I honestly think that more marriages would last longer if couples would see each other as family the moment they say "I do."

I'm obviously no expert. Seven years feels like a lot to me but is nothing compared to the 31 years my parents have been husband and wife or the 67 years my husband's grandparents have married. But I think I'm on to something.

My pastor once shared a story about a couple he was counseling as they struggled to deal with the wife's infidelity. The wife was unfaithful only once, but the husband was ready to call it quits (and understandably so). He just couldn't bring himself to forgive her. Ironically, at the end of one of their sessions the husband asked my pastor for rehabilitation recommendations for his brother who was addicted to alcohol and drugs. This man's brother had messed up time and time again, and even stolen money from him. But he forgave his brother each and every time. Why? "Because he's my family," the man answered. "Well, isn't your wife your family too?" my pastor asked.

Many of us remain dedicated to our families no matter how much they screw up. We love them in spite of their mistakes and imperfections. How strong would our marriages be if we did the same for our spouses? Now don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating that you stay in an abusive relationship or turn a blind eye to self-destructive behavior. But a spouse is a family member you chose to have. Shouldn't they receive the same grace and mercy you extend to the family members you didn't get to choose?

So don't ask me when I'm starting a family. I already have.

And now a few family photos!

I've been seriously breaking one of the 10 Commandments lately. I believe this would fall under the the charge to not covet your neighbor's donkey or something. As a Christian I am not to envy others, but if you live in a loft in Downtown Birmingham, I envy you -- especially if you live in Athens Flatts. 

I began to discover the awesomeness of Birmingham's re-emerging downtown a few years ago and when I turned 30 I decided to celebrate with my city by doing a downtown bar crawl. We had burgers at Rogue Tavern, cupcakes at Urban Standard, and capped off the night with drinks at Wine Loft. Those are three of my favorite places in this city and they're all within walking distance of Athens Flatts (which I took an inside tour of last year). In fact, if hubs and I lived there he could walk to work! And my job is only about a five-minute drive away. 

But alas, I am a teacher and freelance writer. My husband is a newspaper journalist. We are obviously too broke to afford a loft at Athen Flatts. But a girl can dream, right? 

Next month, I plan to attend Cool Spaces, Downtown Places an event sponsored by REV Birmingham that's meant to encourage city living. This will probably only make me long for a loft even more, but at least I'll be supporting my city!