As a writer I feel obligated to post some thought-provoking and heartfelt prose about what it meant to participate in the Women's March Alabama in Birmingham yesterday. But I'm honestly at a loss for words.

I don't usually write about politics, but last night's election results were not just political, they were personal.

Let us be writeous. 

Let us be writeous babes. 

Let us be women who write and live lives worth writing about. 

Let us be the authors of our own lives. Let us write well and edit often. 

Let us be writeous babes. 

Photos by Brendon Pinola via StyleBlueprint Birmingham

1. God is Love and Love is Life. When it comes to faith, I have more questions than answers. Though I identify as Christian because I love Jesus, organized religion confuses me to no end. It always has. It probably always will. But I am sure that God is Love and Love is Life. My life should center on loving others and loving myself. I believe this is how we worship. This is why I consider my marriage a ministry and my feminism a divine calling. When I serve my husband, when I join hands with the women of my tribe to help them make their dreams come true, these are holy acts. When I share pillow talk with my husband, when my friends and I share secrets over a bottle wine (or two), this is communion.

image via

Trust in God; She will provide. -- Emmeline Pankhurst

Dear God,

I wish you were a woman

Because since I was a girl

I’ve pictured you as a white man

With white hair

Dressed in a long white robe.

And I am not a man

And my skin is a shade of deep chocolate brown.

So how can I believe that I was created in your image?

Do you want to know the secret to getting a great beach body?

Image by Mary Fehr of www.mfehrphotography.com.

Social media may have saved Mary-Berkley Gaines’s life. About four years ago, she was at low point in her life.

“I wasn’t in college anymore and was trying to decide what I wanted to do next,” she says. “I didn’t feel confident with my body because I gained a lot of weight in college. I also was depressed.”

Then one day she was on Instagram and stumbled upon the account of plus-size model Tess Holliday (formerly known as Tess Munster).  “I saw someone who was a true plus-size woman like me—not a size 12,  but an actual size 22 woman,” Gaines says. “Seeing her doing photo shoots and being really fierce and owning all of it and not being apologetic at all about her body—that was when I knew this was something I wanted to be a part of.”

Gaines knew she wanted to be a part of the body positive movement, which encourages the acceptance of all bodies, regardless of shape, size, color, ability, etc. “Everyone is worthy of love, success, and respect no matter who they are and what they look like,” Gaines says when asked to explain what the body positive movement is all about. She soon began reading the body positive blog The Militant Baker by Jes Baker and the body positive magazine VOLUP2, which was created by plus-size supermodel Velvet d’Amour. “This idea that there is no right or wrong way to have a body—that way of thinking changed my life,” Gaines says. “It saved my life, to be honest. I was in a downward spiral of depression and I wasn’t being nice to myself. And finding that started to get me to the point where I wanted to be nice to myself. I noticed I was exercising more and eating better and starting to work toward solving my anxiety and depression problems instead of just covering them up.”

Today Gaines is the founder of the Beautiful Bodies of Birmingham Project, the Magic City’s own body positive movement. As the website, BeautifulBodiesofBham.com, explains, the goal of the project is “to inspire people to see themselves and others in a new way.” By sharing personal stories and intimate photographs that celebrate bodies of all shapes, sizes, and colors, Gaines hopes that the site, which launched in November 2015, will be a safe place for people to get the support and education they need to foster better self-esteem and improved body image.

Read the entire story at B-Metro.com.

Image via B-Metro.com

Sometimes I feel as if I’m caught in a love triangle—writing and teaching both tugging at my heart. I was born to teach, but I didn’t realize this until after working in education for seven years. When I was a girl, I named all my dolls and other toys, arranged them in nice, neat rows in alphabetical order, and then launched into a lecture on whatever struck my fancy at the time. The classroom called me early in life, but I didn’t know it.

But I was also born to write. This I’ve known since the day I wrote my first poem. I was only 7 or 8 years old, so it was terrible, and I’m sure it included the line “Roses are red, violets are blue.” But it was the beginning of a lifelong love affair with the written word. And it was this love that led me to study journalism. I had dreams of working for Essence magazine and one day starting a print magazine of my own.

But a career in education was still whispering in my ear, flirting with my future plans. In graduate school at UC Berkeley, I was a graduate student instructor, or GSI, and taught a communications class for undergraduate students. I was charged with breaking down the complicated concepts and theories the professor discussed in her lectures. I did such a good job that students assigned to other GSIs would ask to come to my class, willing to sit on the floor or stand in the back if there weren’t enough desks.

I applied for Teach for America. I was accepted by Teach for America. I turned down Teach for America. I had also been offered a job as a features reporter in a city that I loved with the man whom I love. Writing won my heart again...

Read the entire article at B-Metro.com. 

Beyonce has had enough.

Beyonce has had enough of y'all talking about her baby's hair.

She's had enough of y'all talking about her man's big nose.

She's had enough of her people being killed by the very people sworn to protect and serve them.

1. Sisterhood is alive and well, even during a zombie apocalypse.

image via Bust

What would you do if you weren't afraid to fail?

Last Thursday I walked into the Clubhouse on Highland and was greeted with handshakes, hugs, and a hot pink sash. "Inspirational" it read. I draped it across my body noting the nice contrast with my grey dress. I smiled as my proud husband took my photo for the obligatory Facebook and Instagram posts.

But I felt like a fraud.

1. Clarissa Explains White Supremacy. Yes, you read that right. Here are two of my favorites from this new meme series.

2. This Vine video.

I mean how much higher a compliment can you give? RT @alishalisha: "You are Beyonce" "Thank you" https://t.co/PKNI2OoFs1
— The Happy Feminist (@HappyFeminist) January 8, 2015

3. The Body Love Conference asked us all to add one more resolution to our list -- #lovethemirror.

4. 12 Historical Women Who Gave No F*cks. This BuzzFeed article by Hannah Jewell may have the faint at heart clutching their pearls due to all the f-bombs, but it is inspiring nonetheless. I am currently working on perfecting the art of not giving a f*ck, so this was perfect timing.

5. And finally, I saved this to make me laugh when lupus and I are in battle.

What made you a happy feminist this week? 

1. I went to Beyonce's On the Run tour and had a religious experience when I saw Queen Bey standing before the word FEMINIST emblazoned on a gigantic screen. Yonce would later wave her feminist banner in the same way at the MTV VMAs. Flawless.

2. Laverne Cox graced the cover of Time magazine and continues to open doors for transgender men and women. The Orange Is the New Black actress is also an alum of the Alabama School of Fine Arts, my alma mater and the school where I currently teach.

3. Lupita Nyong'o became the fifth black woman to receive a best supporting actress Academy award for her role in 12 Years a Slave. She also received honors from Glamour and Essence magazines. In the speech she gave while accepting the Black Women in Hollywood Breakthrough Performance award from Essence, Nyong'o spoke openly and honestly about body image and blackness and got the world talking about the role that skin color plays in how we define beauty.

4. Mo'ne Davis redefined the meaning of the phrase "throw like a girl" when the 13-year-old led her team to the Little League World Series. She was recently named Sports Illustrated Kid's "SportsKid of the Year" and she was the first Little Leaguer to land the cover of Sports Illustrated.

5. HelloFlo gave me a new excuse to talk about my period. I've always believed that women should openly discuss their periods without shame because there is nothing weird or gross about our bodies. And the hilarious commercials produced by the sanitary product company HelloFlo serve as great conversation starters.



6. Taylor Swift finally saw the light! Two years ago I blogged about comments Swift made about feminism in an interview with The Daily Beast. When asked whether she was a feminist in a 2012 interview with The Daily Beast, she replied:

I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.

But this year Swift had a feminist awakening.  In an August interview with The Guardian Swift said: 

As a teenager, I didn’t understand that saying you’re a feminist is just saying that you hope women and men will have equal rights and equal opportunities. What it seemed to me, the way it was phrased in culture, society, was that you hate men. And now, I think a lot of girls have had a feminist awakening because they understand what the word means

7. Students at my alma mater the University of Alabama launched the UA Feminist Caucus, a feminist club seeking to address those who believe there's no need for feminism and to tackle misconceptions about feminism.



8. Actress Emma Watson delivered a speech before the U.N. on the importance of feminism and why everyone -- including men -- should care about gender equality.

Image by Mark Garten via Flickr Creative Commons

9. Malala Yousafzai became the youngest person to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. In addition to speaking out against violence and poverty, 17-year-old Malala has been a major advocate for more access to education for women and girls.

10.  The Greater Birmingham chapter of NOW (National Organization for Women) reorganized and reactivated. I'm now a card-carrying feminist!

11. While Democrats may not have fared well during the 2014 midterm election women, of both parties, certainly did. Setting a new record, 100 women will serve in the 114th Congress.

12. I wasn't a happy feminist while listening to Steve Santagati's idiotic comments about how women should consider street harassment as flattery, but Amanda Seales' response was amazing and the faces she made while this dude was talking his complete nonsense shall be my response from now on to all ridiculous mansplaining.

13. Cosmopolitan magazine is now about more than how to please your man. As editor-in-chieft Joanna Coales said, the Cosmo reader is "interested mascara and the Middle East." The magazine has decided to increase its feminist and political content, as evidenced by the decision to hire Jill Filipovic as senior political writer.

14. Shonda Rhimes always makes me happy. First of all, Scandal's Olivia Pope called herself a feminist in one of this season's episodes. But I also admire how Rhimes cooly and cleverly shut down the New York Times critic who called her an "angry black woman."

BOOM!

What made you a happy feminist this year? 

I met this lovely lady -- PR diva Candie Price -- at a blogging conference last month.
As you can see we became buds instantly. So I was elated to see her at this month's WBL meeting. 

1. Women Business Leaders. On Saturday, I joined Women Business Leaders, a networking group for professional women of faith. I plan to write an in-depth post about the group before its next meeting in hopes that some of you Birmingham babes will join me.

2. Alabama feminists. The University of Alabama student newspaper The Crimson White reports that my alma mater is now home to the UA Feminist Caucus!  

“The issue of feminism impacts us everyday regardless of gender, sexual orientation or anything like that. That’s why it’s so important to be involved,” Cassidy Ellis, club president and a first year graduate student studying gender and race studies, said.

According to The Crimson White, Ellis came up with the idea for a feminist club for the University last spring. She said her goal was to address those who have said there isn’t a need for feminism, and that the group seeks to dicuss further misconceptions faced 
about feminism.

Upcoming events include a “Feminism Is for Everybody” panel discussion. I might have to take a trip to T-Town to check this out! 

     

3. Supporting fellow woman writer and entrepreneur Carrie Rollwagen. Carrie, the owner of a local coffee shop and book store, has written a book about the importance of supporting local businesses and she's launched a Kickstarter campaign to get the book published.  I consider it a privilege to be a backer of such an important project. Watch the video above to learn more and then pledge your support too! 

4. Feminist Wednesday. I can't believe I'm just now learning about FeministWednesday.com, but I'm so glad I recently stumbled upon the feminist storytelling site.  Go check it out now and thank me later. 

Princess of the Press!

5. And thanks to NPR I also learned about another awesome site this week -- Rejected Princesses. Produced by Jason Porath, Rejected Princesses is a series of illustrations of women whose stories wouldn’t make the cut for animated movies, or has he says "women too awesome, awful, or offbeat for kids' movies."  

What made you a happy feminist this week? 

1.

Do I really need to explain why this made me happy?

2. Well, in case you don't get it, read this article from the Ms. Magazine blog. 

In my review of Bey and Jay's On the Run tour, I mentioned that seeing the word FEMINIST was emblazoned on a huge screen at a mainstream music concert was nearly a religious experience for me. And it's an experience I had the chance to relive while watching Beyonce's performance at the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday night. As Ms. Magazine writer Anita Little explains:  

In being so unapologetic and quietly outspoken, she’s made feminism accessible to young women around the world who otherwise never would have identified with the movement. 

By lifting verses from Adichie’s TED talk on gender equality and using it to inspire her own music, Beyoncé is bridging the gap between academic feminism and everyday feminism. If young women attendees at her On the Run tour can scream out the lyrics to “Flawless” and mean every word, who says they can’t  eventually read Audre Lorde?

3. While we're on the subject of celebrities dropping the f-bomb, Taylor Swift has finally joined the feminist club too! Two years ago I blogged about comments Swift made about feminism in an interview with The Daily Beast. 

When asked whether she was a feminist in a 2012 interview with The Daily Beast, she replied:

I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.

But now she's singing a different tune. In a recent interview with The Guardian Swift had this to say: 

As a teenager, I didn’t understand that saying you’re a feminist is just saying that you hope women and men will have equal rights and equal opportunities. What it seemed to me, the way it was phrased in culture, society, was that you hate men. And now, I think a lot of girls have had a feminist awakening because they understand what the word means

Why should we care whether or not Swift calls herself a feminist? I think Anita Little, writing for the Ms. Magazine blog, said it best: 

Swift has millions of fans, most of them young women, so for her to gave a tacit endorsement of the feminist  movement could encourage fans to explore the meaning of feminism for themselves.

4. Tamron Hall spoke out on the ridiculous notion that child-free women are somehow less mature and less caring simply because they don't have kids.  "I’m taken aback by the idea that that empathy is bestowed upon you only because you are a parent," Hall said. 

5. Even Playboy understands that catcalls aren't flattering. 

See the full flowchart here. 


And one thing that pissed me off...

Lifetime's new show Girlfriend Intervention promises to bring out the "strong black woman" trapped inside every white girl. Sadly, I'm not making this up. Read this NPR article for more.



What made you a happy feminist this week? 

Nail color: Naughty Nautical by Essie

We ladies who love sparkly or colorful nail polish and other so-called "girly" things are often given a bad rap. We're accused of being a "woman-child" who is romanticizing youth.  And even though we may be helping our friends start businesses or starting companies of our own we're not real adults because we're not knocked up.

Well, this woman child has an aqua green painted middle finger for all those folks buying into that nonsense.

I may have some pastel polish on my nails on any given day but that doesn't make me or my fingertips any less feminist.

This month these feminist fingertips of mine wrote blog posts about balance, BlogHer, e-books, and Beyonce --all with the goal of empowering women. My feminist fingertips typed proposals, promotional material and panel discussion questions and I hosted my very own blogging mini-conference on July 19.


My feminist fingertips wrote an essay for B-Metro magazine on feminist fitness and tackled the question of whether or not it's anti-feminist to want six-pack abs.

And my feminist fingertips wrote a piece for WBHM 90.3 FM (Birmingham's NPR station) about my painful experiences with colorism.

As my pal Carrie Rollwagen once wrote, this "woman-child" business is just plain old chauvinism dressed up as feminism, because it says that what a woman does (like starting a business, honing a talent practicing a craft) is less important than the way she looks while she's doing it."

And don't get me wrong -- I do care about the way I look. As I've said on this blog before, I have some stories and I want to look good while I share them.

But don't judge my work by my wardrobe and don't judge the depth of my feminism by the color of my fingernails.

Last night I went to Beyoncé and Jay-Z's On the Run show in Atlanta. I want to pretend to be music writer like my husband and give you a concert review, but it's hard to find words to describe such an epic experience.

I want to tell you all about the set list. I had so much fun I didn't sit down during a single song. Beyoncé not only performed songs from her new album -- like “Partition,” “Haunted” and “Pretty Hurts” -- but also older cuts like “Why Don't You Love Me,” “Single Ladies,” “Baby Boy” and many others. 

I want to convey how impressed I was by Bey’s performance, but I think my husband summed it up best in his review for his blog Soul In Stereo. He writes:

Beyonce…proved to me that she's the best performer of our generation. Bey's arena-rattling performance of feminist anthem "Flawless" nearly had the crowd in hysterics. Her ability to connect with fans up in the rafters is truly a sight to behold. Bey morphing from enigmatic specter on "Haunted" to acrobatic pin-up girl on "Partition" is one thing, but her true talent lies in her  immaculate vocals. She sounded studio perfect on every single song - never out of breath, never off key. It's mind-blowing that a woman who spent nearly three hours stomping around a stage and swinging from chairs could pull of the simmering ballad "Resentment" without a flaw.

 

She's not bossy. She's the boss.

I want to tell you about how I got chills during the performance of “Flawless.” I worried Bey would omit the second verse of this song for the concert and not let us hear Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie wise words on gender inequality. But I not only heard Adichie's words booming across the Georgia Dome but also saw them displayed before me on the Jumbotron. For me, seeing the word FEMINIST displayed larger than life at a mainstream music concert is nearly a religious experience.

I want to tell you about how I felt like a teenager again during the show. The beat dropped for “Run the World (Girls)” and Beyoncé asked all the women in the audience who make their own money and buy their own shit to make some noise. I screamed until my throat was sore. In that moment I was 19 again, which is how old I was when I saw Destiny's Child live. It was the same day I purchased my first car with money I saved from working two jobs. When they sang “Independent Women” I felt like they were singing it just for me, like the whole world was celebrating what I had accomplished that day.

View from Row 11 

Bey did a cover of Lauryn Hill's "Ex-Factor" and memories of high school heartbreak came flooding in. But then I looked to my left and saw my amazing husband standing next to me. No more heartbreak. No more wondering “who I have to be to get some reciprocity.” I closed my eyes for a few seconds to thank God for sending me a man who truly loves me for me.

On the Run Selfie with My Boo!

My husband went with me to the show because he's a huge Jay-Z fan and because I figured this show could and would be the ultimate date night. But I worried the show would be Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z and that hubster wouldn't have a good time. I worried for nothing. The show was definitely a shared ventured and I was so impressed with Jay-Z. He was so charismatic and energetic and such an overall great performer that I found myself enjoying his sets just as much as Bey's. I was jumping up and down like a chick in a mosh pit as soon as I heard the first few notes of "N*ggas In Paris." I was brushing my shoulders off and I was singing about my hard knock life.

Mr. and Mrs. Carter’s collaborations were golden. They had amazing chemistry on “Upgrade U,” “Drunk In Love,” “Part II (On the Run),” “Young Forever” and more. Bey even joined Jay on tracks like “Holy Grail.”

As my husband described in his review:

“They looked like they were having the time of their lives bouncing on stage like teenagers during "Drunk In Love" while, later, coming off like the mature married couple on "Young Forever." They didn't sound like two artists sharing a concert billing, they sounded like two lovers sharing their experiences with the world.”

I want to tell you about all of this and more. But none of this is as important as what I want to tell the young women in my life. Many of my female students are big Beyoncé fans and I swear some of them were more excited about the fact that I was going to the show than I was. On my little black dress for the show I wore a glittery red star with Beyoncé's name on it that was made by one of my girls.

I went into the show thinking about them and how I wanted to leave with something inspiring to tell them.

When I arrived at the Georgia Dome the words THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE were displayed on the Jumbotron. I stared at the statement for a moment wondering what it meant but as soon as the show began I got lost in the magic. I got lost in the music and the Bonnie and Clyde-inspired cinematic scenes that played out in the background.

But at the end of the show while Bey and Jay performed “Young Forever” the movie reel changed. Images of the Carters shooting guns, robbing banks, and speeding down highways were replaced with video footage from their wedding and the birth of their child. We saw scenes from family vacations and adorable moments of Jay-Z doing push-ups with Blue ivy on his back and pretending to sit on her back as she attempted to do push-ups too. And then these words filled the screen: THIS IS REAL LIFE.

And suddenly I knew the message I wanted to convey.

It's fine to admire celebrities like Beyoncé. I think it's even OK to be interested in their lives to a point, but don't forget about your real life in the process. Don't become so obsessed with watching Beyonce live out her dreams that you neglect achieving yours.

Be your own Beyoncé.

Feeling flawless the morning after the show -- even with frizzy hair!

If you admire Beyoncé because of her body confidence, don't strive to look like her. Strive to love the skin you're in and to love the body you already have. If you admire her for her talent, figure out your passion and strive to cultivate a talent of your own. And if you admire her simply because she's rich, then, dammit, get rich yourself!

When Sheryl Sandberg interviewed Beyoncé for her feature in Time magazine as one of the most influential people in the world she asked her the question she loves to ask all women: What would you do if you weren't afraid? Bey's answer: “Watch me. I'm about to do it. You can, too.”

Yes, you can, too.

So sure, watch Beyoncé for a moment but then go out and be fearless (and flawless) yourself.

The B-Metro Blog Team
We're raising our glasses to the power of women!

Last week I had the opportunity to cover B-Metro magazine's Women of Power party, which celebrated the release of the magazine's annual Power of Women issue.

As part of the B-Metro blog team I shared highlights of the party via Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. 

The Power of Women issue is my favorite. Last year I had the honor of being one of the women featured. The profile See Javacia Lead focused on my work with See Jane Write. 

I was quite excited to see several ladies of See Jane Write at last week's party, which was held at Vino in English Village. 

Abiola, Jane, and Shella came out and represented for See Jane Write!

The turnout was great and everyone seemed to have an excellent time. 

We enjoyed delicious free hors d'oeuvres from Vino and live music by Gabriel Tajeu. 

Along with Vino, the party was also sponsored by Alabama Power and Cadillac, who showed off some gorgeous new cars. 

At the party I had the chance to chat with Raquel Morgan, a top commercial account manager at Alabama Power, about what it means to be a woman of power. 

Raquel Morgan of Alabama Power

"Being a woman of power is about being willing to give back and being willing to uplift other women," Morgan said.

When asked what advice she would give to young women graduating high school this month, Morgan's response was simple yet wise: "Enjoy life, but make smart choices." 

Morgan has worked for Alabama Power for 15 years and says it's a great place to work for women and for anyone. 

"I've been given so many opportunities and resources to excel in my career path," she said. 

Morgan said that one of the women of power she admires most is Bobbie Knight, who is the head of the Birmingham division of Alabama Power. "I admire her integrity, her strength, and her intelligence," Morgan said. "And she has great fashion sense!"


How do you define a woman of power? What women of power do you admire most? 



Cross-posted at SeeJaneWriteBham.com

image via mauivents.com

I recognized the look in their faces. It was a look I’d seen in the mirror far too many times. It was the look of frustration and complete overwhelm. It was the look of feminist burnout.

The two young women standing before me were two students in the 10^th grade English class I taught that year. They were two students that – after the school day was done – I had long talks with about feminism, activism, and art.  

These two students of mine came to me on this particular afternoon filled with rage about rape culture and feeling helpless to do anything about it or anything else. They began to rattle off all the injustices we women still face and the sexist attitudes that they felt would prevent our society from ever achieving gender equality.

Then they took a breath and looked to me, the grownup in the room, for answers.

I had none.

I don’t know of any simple ways to end rape culture or change the sexist attitudes held by both men and women.

But I do know how to beat feminist burnout. I know how to be a happy feminist.

Beating feminist burnout is the topic of my first guest post for I Am That Girl, a feminist website, book, and movement for teen girls. 

You can read the complete post here. 

I am so excited, honored and proud to be part of the I Am That Girl family.