I wake
And I want to wrap my wounds with words
And rest
And heal.

But I must return to the battlefield
To fight
To kill.

Beyonce has had enough.

Beyonce has had enough of y'all talking about her baby's hair.

She's had enough of y'all talking about her man's big nose.

She's had enough of her people being killed by the very people sworn to protect and serve them.

1.

Do I really need to explain why this made me happy?

2. Well, in case you don't get it, read this article from the Ms. Magazine blog. 

In my review of Bey and Jay's On the Run tour, I mentioned that seeing the word FEMINIST was emblazoned on a huge screen at a mainstream music concert was nearly a religious experience for me. And it's an experience I had the chance to relive while watching Beyonce's performance at the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday night. As Ms. Magazine writer Anita Little explains:  

In being so unapologetic and quietly outspoken, she’s made feminism accessible to young women around the world who otherwise never would have identified with the movement. 

By lifting verses from Adichie’s TED talk on gender equality and using it to inspire her own music, Beyoncé is bridging the gap between academic feminism and everyday feminism. If young women attendees at her On the Run tour can scream out the lyrics to “Flawless” and mean every word, who says they can’t  eventually read Audre Lorde?

3. While we're on the subject of celebrities dropping the f-bomb, Taylor Swift has finally joined the feminist club too! Two years ago I blogged about comments Swift made about feminism in an interview with The Daily Beast. 

When asked whether she was a feminist in a 2012 interview with The Daily Beast, she replied:

I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.

But now she's singing a different tune. In a recent interview with The Guardian Swift had this to say: 

As a teenager, I didn’t understand that saying you’re a feminist is just saying that you hope women and men will have equal rights and equal opportunities. What it seemed to me, the way it was phrased in culture, society, was that you hate men. And now, I think a lot of girls have had a feminist awakening because they understand what the word means

Why should we care whether or not Swift calls herself a feminist? I think Anita Little, writing for the Ms. Magazine blog, said it best: 

Swift has millions of fans, most of them young women, so for her to gave a tacit endorsement of the feminist  movement could encourage fans to explore the meaning of feminism for themselves.

4. Tamron Hall spoke out on the ridiculous notion that child-free women are somehow less mature and less caring simply because they don't have kids.  "I’m taken aback by the idea that that empathy is bestowed upon you only because you are a parent," Hall said. 

5. Even Playboy understands that catcalls aren't flattering. 

See the full flowchart here. 


And one thing that pissed me off...

Lifetime's new show Girlfriend Intervention promises to bring out the "strong black woman" trapped inside every white girl. Sadly, I'm not making this up. Read this NPR article for more.



What made you a happy feminist this week? 

Last night I went to Beyoncé and Jay-Z's On the Run show in Atlanta. I want to pretend to be music writer like my husband and give you a concert review, but it's hard to find words to describe such an epic experience.

I want to tell you all about the set list. I had so much fun I didn't sit down during a single song. Beyoncé not only performed songs from her new album -- like “Partition,” “Haunted” and “Pretty Hurts” -- but also older cuts like “Why Don't You Love Me,” “Single Ladies,” “Baby Boy” and many others. 

I want to convey how impressed I was by Bey’s performance, but I think my husband summed it up best in his review for his blog Soul In Stereo. He writes:

Beyonce…proved to me that she's the best performer of our generation. Bey's arena-rattling performance of feminist anthem "Flawless" nearly had the crowd in hysterics. Her ability to connect with fans up in the rafters is truly a sight to behold. Bey morphing from enigmatic specter on "Haunted" to acrobatic pin-up girl on "Partition" is one thing, but her true talent lies in her  immaculate vocals. She sounded studio perfect on every single song - never out of breath, never off key. It's mind-blowing that a woman who spent nearly three hours stomping around a stage and swinging from chairs could pull of the simmering ballad "Resentment" without a flaw.

 

She's not bossy. She's the boss.

I want to tell you about how I got chills during the performance of “Flawless.” I worried Bey would omit the second verse of this song for the concert and not let us hear Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie wise words on gender inequality. But I not only heard Adichie's words booming across the Georgia Dome but also saw them displayed before me on the Jumbotron. For me, seeing the word FEMINIST displayed larger than life at a mainstream music concert is nearly a religious experience.

I want to tell you about how I felt like a teenager again during the show. The beat dropped for “Run the World (Girls)” and Beyoncé asked all the women in the audience who make their own money and buy their own shit to make some noise. I screamed until my throat was sore. In that moment I was 19 again, which is how old I was when I saw Destiny's Child live. It was the same day I purchased my first car with money I saved from working two jobs. When they sang “Independent Women” I felt like they were singing it just for me, like the whole world was celebrating what I had accomplished that day.

View from Row 11 

Bey did a cover of Lauryn Hill's "Ex-Factor" and memories of high school heartbreak came flooding in. But then I looked to my left and saw my amazing husband standing next to me. No more heartbreak. No more wondering “who I have to be to get some reciprocity.” I closed my eyes for a few seconds to thank God for sending me a man who truly loves me for me.

On the Run Selfie with My Boo!

My husband went with me to the show because he's a huge Jay-Z fan and because I figured this show could and would be the ultimate date night. But I worried the show would be Beyoncé featuring Jay-Z and that hubster wouldn't have a good time. I worried for nothing. The show was definitely a shared ventured and I was so impressed with Jay-Z. He was so charismatic and energetic and such an overall great performer that I found myself enjoying his sets just as much as Bey's. I was jumping up and down like a chick in a mosh pit as soon as I heard the first few notes of "N*ggas In Paris." I was brushing my shoulders off and I was singing about my hard knock life.

Mr. and Mrs. Carter’s collaborations were golden. They had amazing chemistry on “Upgrade U,” “Drunk In Love,” “Part II (On the Run),” “Young Forever” and more. Bey even joined Jay on tracks like “Holy Grail.”

As my husband described in his review:

“They looked like they were having the time of their lives bouncing on stage like teenagers during "Drunk In Love" while, later, coming off like the mature married couple on "Young Forever." They didn't sound like two artists sharing a concert billing, they sounded like two lovers sharing their experiences with the world.”

I want to tell you about all of this and more. But none of this is as important as what I want to tell the young women in my life. Many of my female students are big Beyoncé fans and I swear some of them were more excited about the fact that I was going to the show than I was. On my little black dress for the show I wore a glittery red star with Beyoncé's name on it that was made by one of my girls.

I went into the show thinking about them and how I wanted to leave with something inspiring to tell them.

When I arrived at the Georgia Dome the words THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE were displayed on the Jumbotron. I stared at the statement for a moment wondering what it meant but as soon as the show began I got lost in the magic. I got lost in the music and the Bonnie and Clyde-inspired cinematic scenes that played out in the background.

But at the end of the show while Bey and Jay performed “Young Forever” the movie reel changed. Images of the Carters shooting guns, robbing banks, and speeding down highways were replaced with video footage from their wedding and the birth of their child. We saw scenes from family vacations and adorable moments of Jay-Z doing push-ups with Blue ivy on his back and pretending to sit on her back as she attempted to do push-ups too. And then these words filled the screen: THIS IS REAL LIFE.

And suddenly I knew the message I wanted to convey.

It's fine to admire celebrities like Beyoncé. I think it's even OK to be interested in their lives to a point, but don't forget about your real life in the process. Don't become so obsessed with watching Beyonce live out her dreams that you neglect achieving yours.

Be your own Beyoncé.

Feeling flawless the morning after the show -- even with frizzy hair!

If you admire Beyoncé because of her body confidence, don't strive to look like her. Strive to love the skin you're in and to love the body you already have. If you admire her for her talent, figure out your passion and strive to cultivate a talent of your own. And if you admire her simply because she's rich, then, dammit, get rich yourself!

When Sheryl Sandberg interviewed Beyoncé for her feature in Time magazine as one of the most influential people in the world she asked her the question she loves to ask all women: What would you do if you weren't afraid? Bey's answer: “Watch me. I'm about to do it. You can, too.”

Yes, you can, too.

So sure, watch Beyoncé for a moment but then go out and be fearless (and flawless) yourself.

I'm not a parent, but should my life take an unexpected turn I become the mother to a little girl I pledge to never call her bossy. Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook chief operating officer and author of the best-selling book Lean In, wants you to make that promise too. 

Sandberg has teamed up with former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Girl Scouts USA CEO Anna Maria Chávez to launch a public service campaign called "Ban Bossy." The BanBossy.com website offers tips for girls, parents teachers, managers, and troop leaders on how to encourage young female leaders. 

And the website asks you to publicly pledge via social media to ban the word bossy. Why make such a big deal about such a little word? As stated on BanBossy.com: 

When a little boy asserts himself, he's called a “leader.” Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded “bossy.” Words like bossy send a message: don't raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. 

The website also features a video that includes appearances by Sandberg and Rice as well as pop star Beyonce, actress Jennifer Garner and a number of other celebrities. Take a look: 

"I'm not bossy. I'm the boss!" -- that statement by Beyonce makes me want to pump my fist to the sky and yell, "Girl power!" But another thing I really appreciate about this video is that it includes men too. I believe it's important for us all to recognize that if the number of female leaders is going to significantly increase, men must be involved in this movement. They must be willing to mentor and support their female colleagues or employees and fathers must be willing to encourage their daughters to pursue dreams just as bold as the hopes they have for their sons. 

Beyonce and I have yet another thing in common. Not only are we both 32-year-old married black feminists with unique names and a love for Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's TED talk  “We Should All Be Feminists,” but now we both write essays! (This is all leading to the day we become BFFs. I can feel it.) 

Mrs. Knowles-Carter penned an essay titled "Gender Equality Is a Myth" for The Shriver Report: A Woman's Nation Pushes Back from the Brink. The complete report can be downloaded for free through today.  I plan to read and write about the full report soon. 

In her essay, Beyonce states that "We need to stop buying into the myth about gender equality. It isn't a reality yet. Today, women make up half of the U.S. workforce, but the average working woman earns only 77 percent of what the average working man makes." 

She goes on to say that in order for gender equality to be achieved one day, men must take a stand on the issue too:

"Men have to demand that their wives, daughters, mothers, and sisters earn more—commensurate with their qualifications and not their gender," she writes. 

Beyonce believes gender equality starts with how we raise our children: "We have to teach our boys the rules of equality and respect, so that as they grow up, gender equality becomes a natural way of life. And we have to teach our girls that they can reach as high as humanly possible."

Bey's contribution is short, sweet, and to the point and as The Hairpin noted, "Bey is as completely right as she is obvious."

The ideas she puts forth are simple. Quite frankly, they're common sense. But sadly I fear there folks out there who would still disagree. There are people who still see gender equality as some radical notion from us "crazy liberals" and not the simple notion that women are people too.  

As Beyonce states in the piece, "Humanity requires both men and women, and we are equally important and need one another. So why are we viewed as less than equal?" 

This morning I woke up and took a photo of myself.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've taken a selfie. But this morning I just had to. I woke up with Beyonce's "Flawless" playing in my head: "I woke up like this/ We flawless, ladies tell 'em."

"I woke up like this."

Like most Beyonce fans I spent most of yesterday in a state of disbelief. Did Queen Bey really drop a surprise album in the middle of the night? Does this album really feature more than a dozen songs and more than a dozen music videos?

I rushed home from work yesterday so I could sit down and carefully listen to all the tracks. The album immediately won me over with "Pretty Hurts," which speaks to the pressures of fitting society's beauty standards. In "Ghost" Beyonce gives listeners some insight into her business strategy and bluntly says she doesn't trust record labels. Tender tracks like "Superpower," "Heaven," and "Blue" (which features an adorable cameo from her daughter Blue Ivy) show off Bey's vocal prowess and tug on heart strings. And while the sexually explicit lyrics of tracks like "Drunk In Love," "Blow," and "Yonce"/"Partition" are a bit much at times, Mrs. Carter certainly does a good job of dispelling notions that married folks don't have good sex.

But then you hear "Flawless" and you realize she's doing so much more.

"Flawless" is a revamped version of the previously released track "Bow Down." And I will admit, when I first heard "Bow Down" I was confused. I didn't get it and I didn't like it. "What is she doing?" I asked myself.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

But "Flawless" is now about to be that track on repeat in my car when I'm running errands or driving to work. Yes, the song starts with Bey telling her haters to show some respect for the path she has paved, but don't think for one moment this means she's turned her back on sisterhood. The entire second verse features snippets from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's TED Talk "We Should All Be Feminists." This is one of my favorite TED Talks and one that I show to the students in my Women & Media class.

I get chills listening to Adichie's words to the backdrop of Beyonce's soaring soprano. And with Adichie's words, Beyonce's message becomes clear.

Bey's braggadocios lyrics fly in the face of the notion that women should "aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man."

And when Mrs. Carter says "I took some time to live my life/ But don't think I'm just his little wife" she challenges the fact that girls are often taught to, as Adichie explains, "aspire to marriage."

Adichie says, "Marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don't teach boys the same?"

Adichie goes on to ask, "Why do we raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments -- which I think could be a good thing -- but for the attention of men?"

And when Adichie declares that "We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are" suddenly even those raunchy rhymes from previous tracks have more purpose.

In case you were wondering if Beyonce is a feminist -- yes, she is. And in case you're not sure what that means, Adichie breaks it down: "Feminist - a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes."

And no, Beyonce has not turned her back on her Beyhive. The song ends with Queen Bey inviting all of us to join her in declaring that we're flawless -- not because of makeup, plastic surgery, or expensive clothes, but because we "woke up like this."

Image by Lauren Harris of Afro Girl Talks

Mrs. Bowser, what's Beyonce Week?

I had to answer that question about a dozen times last week because the completely ridiculous, yet completely awesome image you see above was posted in the center of the dry erase board in my classroom.

The students in my English classes were disappointed that it wasn't Beyonce Week for them, but for the students in my elective Women and the Media.

This class is something I describe as Journalism 101 meets Women's Studies. In the class I teach students the basics of journalism but we also spend a great deal of time discussing feminism and representations of women in the media.

And we talk about Beyonce because, well, the students in the class really, really love Queen Bey and their teacher happens to adore her just as much.

So last week was Beyonce Week.

We read and discussed articles from feminist publications that debated whether or not Beyonce should be a feminist icon. Is her sexy persona anti-feminist? Did she set back the women's movement by naming her tour The Mrs. Carter Show?  These are some of the questions we tackled.

We also watched and discussed some of Bey's most popular videos and segments of her documentary Life Is But a Dream.

When I announced my plans to have a Beyonce Week my students were elated, of course. While their excitement delighted me I was a bit worried. I wanted this week to be more than just an excuse to watch pop music videos in class. I wanted my students to really get something out of these five days.

But I had no reason to worry.

Sure, there was some goofing off (like the day the image above came to be), but the week turned out to be incredibly moving and meaningful.

We had powerful discussions on black female sexuality, what it truly means to be a feminist, and how being feminist and feminine is not a contradiction. And best of all we had a great talk about sisterhood.

In the documentary Life Is But a Dream Beyonce says, "I love my husband, but there is nothing like having a conversation with a woman who understands you. I grow so much from those conversations. I need my sisters."

This statement really resonated with some of the girls in the class and even the sole brave boy who's enrolled in the elective. One student shared that she too feels this way about having conversations with other women and that these talks are so powerful and have such a great impact on her life that they feel spiritual.

I've had similar experiences so when my student made this statement I literally got chills and I could sense other girls in the room did too.

One student shared that thinking about sisterhood has urged her to be more open with her female friends and to work on building a closer relationship with her mom.

And so as Beyonce Week came to a close I realized that this week was about much more than a pop star and whether or not she should be considered a feminist icon. This week was about young women embracing sisterhood and realizing that if women work together one day girls might really run the world.

Yes, this man has helped make me the woman I am today. No, that doesn't make me any less of a feminist. 

In addition to the literature classes that I normally teach at a fine arts high school in Birmingham, next school year I am starting an elective called Women and the Media. Think journalism meets women’s studies. And last week a friend of mine sent me a link to a story that I immediately added to the syllabus. 

All Hail the Queen by Tamara Winfrey Harris is an article about pop icon Beyonce and explores why so many of my fellow feminists have qualms about welcoming Queen Bey into the fold. This is a discussion that’s been going on for years with some feminists claiming that Beyonce fails to truly empower women because they believe she relies too heavily on her sexuality for her success. But that’s a proverbial dead horse I don’t care to beat today. That’s not what this post is about.

The other thing that has had some feminists in an uproar was Beyonce’s decision to title her latest tour The Mrs. Carter Show, a nod to her husband Shawn Knowles-Carter (better known as hip hop mogul Jay-Z).

Harris quotes Jane Martinson of the Guardian who wrote in a February 2013 op-ed, “There is almost something subversive about waiting until the strongest moment of your career, which is where Beyoncé finds herself now, to do away with the infamous glossy mononym in favour of a second name your own husband doesn’t even use.”

Harris also points out that Beyonce, during an an interview with Oprah Winfrey before the premiere of  her Life Is But a Dream documentary, said this of Jaz-Z: “I would not be the woman I am if I did not go home to that man.” 

Dodai Stewart of Jezebel responded with this: “Wouldn’t you like to believe she’d be amazing whether or not she went home to a man? (She would be.) It’s a much better message when she talks about how powerful she is as a woman and what a woman can do—without mentioning Mr. Carter.”

But Harris, in her article, counters statements like these and writes, "Being a feminist in the public eye should not require remaining aloof about relationships, including those with men who have helped shape who you are."

I couldn't agree more. To me, feminism is for lovers. 

Personally, I find Beyonce's relationship with her husband quite empowering. First of all, it's obviously a marriage in which equality is important considering their decision to combine their names to create "Knowles-Carter." 

Secondly, being an ambitious, artistic woman and a devoted wife is hard work. The balancing act can sometimes be as tough as a tight rope walk. The more examples we have of women who can make their careers and their husbands a priority, the better.

A marriage is one of the most important and one of the most formative relationships a person can have. Why is it anti-feminist for a woman to say her husband has contributed to who she is as a person and as a professional? Like Bey and Jay, my husband and I have been together for 10 years (including the boyfriend years). That's nearly a third of my life. Of course, he's helped shape who I am! And I’m sure he’d say I’ve had an impact on who he is today too.

My husband makes me a better writer, a better teacher, and a better human being. Saying that doesn’t mean I suddenly don’t believe in the equality of the sexes, which is what feminism is truly about. In fact, our relationship is a great example of equality. We share household duties. We make important decisions together. And we fully support each other’s goals and respect each other's wishes. And having such a relationship makes our marriage stronger because we are true partners. What feminist wouldn't celebrate a marriage like that?

This post was also published on my new blog on The Southern Coterie, "the social network of the SOUTH." This online community is for Southerners and all those who love the South.