image via mauivents.com

I recognized the look in their faces. It was a look I’d seen in the mirror far too many times. It was the look of frustration and complete overwhelm. It was the look of feminist burnout.

The two young women standing before me were two students in the 10^th grade English class I taught that year. They were two students that – after the school day was done – I had long talks with about feminism, activism, and art.  

These two students of mine came to me on this particular afternoon filled with rage about rape culture and feeling helpless to do anything about it or anything else. They began to rattle off all the injustices we women still face and the sexist attitudes that they felt would prevent our society from ever achieving gender equality.

Then they took a breath and looked to me, the grownup in the room, for answers.

I had none.

I don’t know of any simple ways to end rape culture or change the sexist attitudes held by both men and women.

But I do know how to beat feminist burnout. I know how to be a happy feminist.

Beating feminist burnout is the topic of my first guest post for I Am That Girl, a feminist website, book, and movement for teen girls. 

You can read the complete post here. 

I am so excited, honored and proud to be part of the I Am That Girl family. 

I'm sorry to write about the Ban Bossy campaign two days in a row. But yesterday, after sharing my last post via social media I found myself essentially writing a second blog post in Facebook threads.  I figured I should get some of those pageviews and not give them all to Mark Zuckerberg.

Some people seem to have missed the point of the Ban Bossy campaign.

Firstly, #BanBossy, in my opinion, is not telling parents to stop correcting their daughters if they're being disrespectful or rude. 

Parents may look at this campaign and ask, "But what if my daughter is being bossy?" Then you need to do something about it. Nobody's saying let your kid be a jerk. 

Ironically, in her post The Problem with Banning Bossy, Ann Handley actually stated the point I'd like to make in support of #BanBossy: 

The campaign is really more about banning attitudes than banning the word, of course. In some people’s minds, “woman leader” (“strong woman”) often equals “bossy.” (Or worse.)

Exactly. 

Handley said she discussed this campaign with her daughter Caroline and her response (paraphrased by Handley) was:  “But bossy girls aren’t leaders.” 

And Caroline is right. 

Let's look at the definitions Handley lays out in her post: 

Bossy (adjective): Fond of giving people orders; domineering. Synonyms: domineering, pushy, overbearing, imperious, high-handed, authoritation, dictatorial, controlling 

Lead·er·ship (noun): The action of leading a group of people or an organization. Synonyms: guidance, direction, control, management, supervision, superintendence 

But here's the problem. No, leader doesn't equal bossy, but society didn't seem to get that memo, at least when it comes to women and girls. 

If a girl is being bossy, if she is being "domineering," "pushy," or "overbearing" you should absolutely call her out on it and that behavior is absolutely not the makings of a good leader. 

But oftentimes girls offering constructive "guidance" or "direction" are called bossy too. And when those girls become women they're called "bossy," "aggressive," "intimidating" or even "a bitch." 

Secondly, I don't think Facebook chief operating officer and Lean In author Sheryl Sandberg, Girl Scouts USA CEO Anna Maria Chávez, or any of the other women involved in this campaign are naive enough to think they will change the world simply by getting parents and teachers to stop calling girls bossy.

Ban bossy, but don't stop there. BanBossy.com offers a wealth of information on how to encourage leadership in girls and even tips for girls themselves. Speak up in class, challenge yourself, ask for help, and don't do everybody's work -- are just a few tips the site offers for girls, tips I could have certainly used when I was growing up. As an educator I especially appreciate the tips for teachers on cultivating gender equity in the classroom. 

BanBossy.com also gives information on great programs like Black Girls Code, which seeks to introduce girls in underrepresented communities to computer programming through workshops and after-school programs. The site also includes links to books and films with strong female characters. 

Lastly, I'm frustrated that we're wasting so much time arguing over semantics. You may be thinking, "I don't think 'bossy' is the word we should be focusing on." And you're right, but you're also missing the point. We shouldn't simply be focusing on "bossy" or any other single word. The goal of the #BanBossy campaign is not to simply ban a five letter word but to start a discussion about and spark action toward encouraging female leadership. Again, it's not about banning a word; it's about banning attitudes that discourage women and girls to speak their minds and strive for lofty goals.

#BanBossy is simply a clever way to get folks' attention about this important issue.  Does this mean #BanBossy is a marketing ploy? Of course, it's a marketing ploy! But, unfortunately, we live in a world where everything, even movements for social change, need a PR plan. I'm not happy about that, but it's the truth. And I'd rather get behind a marketing campaign with a greater cause, a cause that I essentially devote my life to, than a campaign for something ridiculous that I won't give a shit about in two months. 

So remember, you can ban bossy, but please don't stop there because that's not the point. Encourage the girls in your life to be good leaders, whether they're getting called bossy or not.  

I'm not a parent, but should my life take an unexpected turn I become the mother to a little girl I pledge to never call her bossy. Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook chief operating officer and author of the best-selling book Lean In, wants you to make that promise too. 

Sandberg has teamed up with former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Girl Scouts USA CEO Anna Maria Chávez to launch a public service campaign called "Ban Bossy." The BanBossy.com website offers tips for girls, parents teachers, managers, and troop leaders on how to encourage young female leaders. 

And the website asks you to publicly pledge via social media to ban the word bossy. Why make such a big deal about such a little word? As stated on BanBossy.com: 

When a little boy asserts himself, he's called a “leader.” Yet when a little girl does the same, she risks being branded “bossy.” Words like bossy send a message: don't raise your hand or speak up. By middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys—a trend that continues into adulthood. 

The website also features a video that includes appearances by Sandberg and Rice as well as pop star Beyonce, actress Jennifer Garner and a number of other celebrities. Take a look: 

"I'm not bossy. I'm the boss!" -- that statement by Beyonce makes me want to pump my fist to the sky and yell, "Girl power!" But another thing I really appreciate about this video is that it includes men too. I believe it's important for us all to recognize that if the number of female leaders is going to significantly increase, men must be involved in this movement. They must be willing to mentor and support their female colleagues or employees and fathers must be willing to encourage their daughters to pursue dreams just as bold as the hopes they have for their sons. 

I'm so proud of Cydni Robertson and the success of her Serve and Strut Birmingham Brunch.

As a writer and English teacher I'm constantly thinking about theme and I have a habit of not only searching for motif in works of literature, but in my life as well. The theme for my day on Saturday, January 4 was clear: beauty. 

I woke up, opened my prayer journal and at the top of the page for January 4 I found this verse: 

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11 

I later headed to the Birmingham Serve and Strut Brunch, an event hosted and organized by my friend and fashion blogger Cydni Robertson of ItsHerStrut.com. The brunch featured a three-course meal, a comedy act by Emana Rachelle, and door prizes. The event also included a video and inspiring words from Cydni that could put some strut in any woman's step. 

Cydni wanted the women attending to have the opportunity to "give the gift of style" too and we were asked to donate a pair of new or gently used women’s shoes that will be given to Birmingham-area women’s charities.

But as I sat at the event I realized that there's an even greater gift we women can give to one another: confidence. 

At the start of the event Cydni said something that really stuck with me. She said that insecurity is contagious, but then she reminded us that confidence is contagious too. How true this statement is!

Think about those people in your life who seem confident but when you're around them you feel worse about yourself. Think about those people who try to lift themselves up by putting other people down. Those people clearly aren't truly confident. They're insecure -- very insecure -- and you feel like crap around them because their low self-confidence crud is making you sick. 

Now think about that woman in your life or that speaker you heard at a conference or even a friend you had back in high school or college that made you feel beautiful and bold. That's a woman secure in who she is and you felt like you could do anything when you were around because you were catching a bit of her confidence. 

I felt this happening even as I sat in my seat at Saturday's brunch. Cydni showed a video for which she interviewed female family members of a variety of ages about beauty and self-esteem. You could feel the confidence of these women leap off the screen and land in your lap.

Though the holidays are over, gift-giving should continue all year long, but not in the form of material goods that "moths and vermin destroy" and that thieves can "break in and steal." This year I want to give the gift of confidence by exuding the very confidence I hope to inspire in others. I want to give the gift of confidence to every woman around me -- to the young women that I teach, to the women who attend See Jane Write events, and to the women who read this blog. 

Insecurity is contagious. Confidence is contagious too. What are you spreading? 

image via

This Thanksgiving I am grateful for women.

I thank my mother for giving me life and for being my first best friend.

I thank Maya Angelou, Nikki Giovanni and June Jordan for poetry.

I thank Toni Morrison and Kate Chopin for prose.

I thank dream hampton for her words and her Jagged Edges.

I thank Jessica Valenti for starting a feminist website that changed my life.

I thank Joan Morgan for writing a book that helped me define feminism for myself.

I thank Sarah Bessey for showing me how to take my feminism to church.

I thank Geralyn for being the sister I always wanted.

I thank Laura and Charlene for making college even better than I had hoped.

I thank Maisy for making Louisville the hometown of my heart.

I thank Annemarie for being my work wife.

I thank LaTasha for being my person, my family, my friend.

I thank Tanya for long walks and for giving me the courage to run.

I thank Sherri for believing girls can run the world.

I thank Chanda for support, inspiration, and Olivia Pope.

I thank Karri for girl talk that I never want to end and for loving Howard the Duck as much as I do.

I thank the women of See Jane Write for helping me answer my life's call.

I thank the teenage girls in the Women and the Media class I instruct for teaching me far more than I will ever teach them.

I thank the woman in the mirror for stubborn self-love.

One of last week's prompts for See Jane Write's #bloglikecrazy was to share your favorite TED Talk. Some of the women participating in this challenge to blog daily in the month of November wanted to know: Who is TED?

I then realized that everyone isn't obsessed with TED Talks like I am. I have the TED app on my phone and my iPad. I show a TED Talk once a week to the students in my Women and the Media class (We call is TED Talk Tuesday) and I watch at least two more a week on my own. I LOVE TED Talks.

I'm working on a TED Talk playlist of sorts for my YouTube account. It will full of feminist goodness of course and the video below will be at the top of the list.

Take some time to watch Eve Ensler, creator of The Vagina Monologues, discuss how everyone (yes, even men) need to embrace their inner girl.

I love being a girl and nearly everything that comes with it. Yes, even that.

Don't be coy. You know what "that" is.

Yes, I love my period.

You may be wondering how someone could love something that can be so aggravating, embarrassing, inconvenient, and painful. Don't get me wrong: I hate being on my period, but I'm grateful for it nonetheless.

For me menstrual cramps and missed pool parties are outweighed by the bonds we girls create because of good ol' Flo.

Just think about the time you shared "My First Period" stories with your girls and laughed to the point of tears. Think about the co-worker you started having lunch with after the day you had to ask her for a tampon. And think back to the pal who taught you how to use tampons in the first place.

Below I've posted a commercial that is funniest advertisement for feminine hygiene products that I have ever seen. But we need to remember that for some women and girls, menstruation is no laughing matter.

In America talking about your period is taboo because some people say it's not "lady-like." But in some cultures being on your period carries a serious social stigma. Furthermore, in some countries, such as developing nations like Uganda, millions of girls miss 20 percent of the school year because they can't afford to buy sanitary products. Women miss days at work, losing income that could make the difference between whether or not their families go hungry.

So remember that the next time you have a woe-is-me attitude because it's that time of the month.

But to lighten the mood a bit, I present to you The Camp Gyno.

Abby Hathorn of Vintage Inspired Passionista

Look out Tavi Gevinson! Birmingham may have its own teen prodigy in the world of fashion blogging. Abby Hathorn started her website Vintage Inspired Passionista about a year ago when she was only 16. 

"I wanted to show that teenage girls did not have to be sixteen and pregnant, but sixteen and successful," Hathorn said.

Hathorn not only blogs but also works part-time as a stylist for Mississippi-based Town and Gown Magazine and writes for Real Story Publishing. 

"Juggling my blog, writing for Real Story Publishing, styling for Town and Gown Magazine, and finding time in the day to homeschool is quite a challenging task, but thanks to my iPhone and Claire Massy at Town and Gown Magazine and Joseph St. John at Real Story Publishing, I am able to find time in the day to do what I love-fashion and writing," Abby says. "It is great to be able to collaborate with them via text and email.  I am originally from Mississippi and have family and friends close to Starkville and Columbus which allows me to travel there as often as I am needed."

This past week Abby was busy covering Birmingham Fashion Week, but she still made time to chat with me about blogging and the Birmingham fashion scene. 

Abby at the BFW 2013 Kick Off Party

How did you put together the outfit you wore to the Birmingham Fashion Week 2013 Kick Off Party? 

I love mixing patterns! When I spotted the printed dress and chevron cardigan at Banana Republic, I knew they were meant to be in my closet! I felt the basic navy needed a pop of color, so I sported my favorite pair of Michael Kors heels with it. I adore handmade jewelry and Etsy so I topped off my BFW 2013 Kick Off Party ensemble with handmade earrings by Rachel Leathers (of Hearts of Stone Jewelry) and a luscious stone ring by Lisa Hamilton (of Beadsoul).

Why do you think it's good for Birmingham to have an event like Birmingham Fashion Week?

Events such as Birmingham Fashion Week help to boost tourism and draw attention to the area's awesome attractions, shops, and dining. It brings attention to and supports nonprofit foundations like Alabama Forever and Camp Smile-A-Mile. It also shows off the South's fashionable talents! And what shopaholic doesn't love a preview of spring fashions?

Why do you think it is important for local bloggers to cover Birmingham Fashion Week and how can they do it in a way that will fully engage their readers?

It is a fantastic and fashionable way to support the community! Easy ways to fully engage readers during events like BFW is with photos and interviews. Readers love to be involved, so ask them which design/event was their favorite.

How did you get interested in fashion?

My fascination with fashion began at a young age. I was always playing dress up in my mom's closet! Well, I suppose, I still play dress up.

What was the inspiration behind the name of your blog?

I am inspired by all things vintage! Vintage clothes, music, movies, and cars! There is nothing better than putting on a vintage Frank Sinatra record while brainstorming about blog ideas.

How did you get your gig with Town and Gown Magazine? How do you manage to work for them while living in Birmingham?

Claire Massey, the editor of Town and Gown Magazine, discovered and contacted me to do a fashion article for the November 2012 issue. Since that article, I have been working as a stylist for Town and Gown Magazine.

Town and Gown is a wonderful publication with which to work! Claire Massey, the editor, and Divian Conner, the photographer, make planning and conducting photo shoots easy.

What tips would you give to bloggers (not only fashion bloggers) looking to build their brand and a community?

Social media promotion is key! Create a Facebook Like Page, Twitter, and Instagram page for your blog to draw in your readers, and be sure to post often, but not overwhelmingly. Early on in my blog, I decided that I needed a logo that not only represented the VIP, but also was catchy!  Thanks to Amy Shaw for creating a fabulous logo for me. Another super easy way to grow a blogging brand is with business cards. I always have lots of business cards with me, and I hand them out everywhere I shop, eat, and hangout.

Recently my sweet friends Jennifer, Sherri, and Tanya gave me the Inspiring Blog award. This really meant a lot to me because they all write blogs that inspire me to be fit, to be happy, and to live my best life. They are also members of See Jane Write and thus a part of something in my life that started out as a project but over time has become my purpose. 

To give back to the blogging community, receipt of this award comes with the following tasks:

• Display the award image on your blog.
• Link back to the person who nominated you.
• State 7 things about yourself.
• Nominate 15 other bloggers and link to their sites.
• Notify the bloggers that they have been nominated and link to the post.

So here we go...

7 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me...Until Now

1. As a child I was afraid of Bruce Springsteen's voice, the gorilla at Showbiz, and the Michael Jackson Thriller poster my parents bought for me but had to stash in a bottom drawer until I conquered my fear.  

2. Thanks to my husband, I could probably win first place in a wrestling trivia game. 

3. I have the telephone number of 90s R&B star Ginuwine in my cell phone. 

4. In 2009 I had a 30-minute phone conversation with Jamie Foxx. To this day it's the best interview I've ever done and I still have it saved on my voice recorder. 

5. When I want my hair straightened and/or cut I drive all the way to Montgomery to the only person I trust with my curly coif. 

6. And speaking of my hair, it's most likely because of my tresses that I get asked every other week what island I'm from. Sigh.

7. My name has been legally changed four times. Seriously. 

And now...

15 Inspirational Blogs

1. The Very Worst Missionary
2. Stellar Fashion and Fitness 
3. All In Stride 
4. You Got Rossed 
5. E is for Erin 
6. Goins Writer
7. Britni Danielle
8. Redbone Afropuff
9. Writability
10. Jamie's Rabbits
11. Pink of Perfection
12. A Place to Dwell 
13. Sometimes Sweet
14. Write, Clair, write!
15. Evette Dionne

Last week Glamour magazine hosted its annual Women of the Year Awards. Honorees for 2012 include the likes of actress Selena Gomez, photographer Annie Leibovitz, Girls creator Lena Dunham and USA gold medal Olympians. (Click here for a complete list.)

As Evette Dionne mentioned on her blog, The Huffington Post's women's website, Huff Post Women, captured the spirit of the evening at a reception dinner, asking several honorees and attendees this question: "What do you appreciate most about being a woman?"

This got me thinking: What do I love most about being a woman? It didn't take long for me to reach an answer.

The thing I appreciate most about being a woman is sisterhood.

I believe in the power of sisterhood.

Most women understand that when we band together we are an unstoppable force.

In my nearly 32 years on this earth in this female body I have learned that your good girlfriends make accomplishing goals more manageable and a lot more fun -- whether you're working toward artistic or professional aspirations or a goal to get in shape.

This #bloglikecrazy challenge is a perfect example.

I've now blogged for 19 days straight even though I've been juggling my full-time teaching job, freelance writing assignments, and church and family obligations. I've also had to make time to develop writing prompts to send to other bloggers participating in the challenge. One of the primary reasons I've been able to do this is because of ladies of See Jane Write and other female bloggers across the country who've been blogging like crazy with me. Their posts keep me inspired; their energy keeps me motivated.

And what I've seen happen this month on the See Jane Write Facebook group page has been fascinating.
I've mentioned before that the women of See Jane Write have been sharing their blog posts with the group and have been forming incredible connections, even with women they've never met IRL, as they discover things they have in common. But what I've also seen is women who were intimidated by blogging or had left their blogs sit dormant for months getting in on the action too. They've started or relaunched blogs because they saw we were having so much fun.

All this has inspired me to strive to take See Jane Write to even higher heights and I know I can do it because my sisters will be there to help me along the way.

Crossposted at the See Jane Write blog. 

On a recent episode of Sesame Street, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor let Abby Cadabby and girls everywhere know that while pretending to be a princess is fun, it is not a career. Instead they can and should aspire to be a teacher, lawyer, doctor, engineer, or even a scientist. “A career," Sotomayor says, "is something that you train for and prepare for and plan on doing for a long time.”

And donning her judicial robe, Sotomayor's presence and wise words lets girls know they can pursue any career they want, even a career as a judge. 

Thank you, Sotomayor, and thanks Sesame Street! 


h/t Feministing

Image by Mike Licht via Flickr/Creative Commons

It's Election Day.

As soon as I left work today I headed straight for the polls. There were no lines at my voting site, but I had come armed with plenty to read in case I had to wait. And I was willing to wait, for hours if that's what it took, because since I turned 18 nearly 14 years ago I have always been determined to exercise my right to vote.

I vote because I am black.

There was a time when people with skin like mine were not allowed to step foot in the voting booth. And even after laws changed making their disenfranchisement illegal they still faced one obstacle after another -- such as poll taxes and literacy tests -- as they tried to cast their ballots. This is the history my grandmother recounted to me every time she took me to the polls with her when she voted. And she voted, always -- not just in presidential elections, but every local election too, because she understood those were just as important.

I vote because I am a woman.

We American women have been guaranteed the right to vote for less than a century. This still stuns me.
When I voted today I couldn't help but think of Malala Yousufzai, the 15-year-old Pakistani girl who was shot in the head by the Taliban after gaining international recognition for advocating for girls' education.
Not only are girls like Malala being denied an education but they're being denied a voice. For them speaking out against their government means risking their lives. So how dare I take for granted this opportunity that I have in my country!

I vote because I am an American.

Being born in this country is a privilege. I've always known this but I don't think I realized the gravity of this truth until last Tuesday when I attended an immigration town hall meeting here in Birmingham that was led by undocumented journalist and immigration reform activist Jose Antonio Vargas. Hearing his story and hearing both the love and the pain in his voice as he expressed how much he wants to be an American citizen broke my heart and made me think about how I should show appreciation for my country by being a good citizen. Part of being a good citizen is being an informed voter. So I sat in front of my computer one night and researched all the state amendments that would be on my ballot so I could make educated choices.

This is why I vote. What brought you out to the polls today?

When  I was in my early 20s I kept a little notebook of inspirational quotes and carried it with me all the time. That book would have come in handy last night as I was watching Black Girls Rock.

Black Girls Rock is a non-profit youth empowerment organization that promotes the arts for young women of color. Founded by Beverly Bond, the group also encourages an analysis of the ways women of color are portrayed in the media and hosts an annual awards show that airs on BET. 

The women honored at this year's awards show were offering up so many words of wisdom I could barely keep up as I was scribbling their sage sayings onto any pieces of paper within my reach.

Actress Regina King, who hosted the show with Tracee Ellis Ross, said to the audience at the start of the show, "We can solve any problems when we stand strong and support each other."

Even though Black Girls Rock is mostly about celebrating the accomplishments of African-American women, I believe King's statement applies to all women regardless of race, color, or nationality. When women band together we have the power to bring about change. I believe in the value of community which is exactly why I started See Jane Write.

Kerry Washington
Image by David Shankbone via Flickr/Creative Commons

Kerry Washington, star of the hit ABC show Scandal, was one of the night's honorees. Washington is the first black woman to lead a prime-time serious on a major network in 38 years and is known for playing an active role in politics helping most recently with the Obama campaign.

"True power comes from authenticity," Washington said. "Power come from being yourself."

Janelle Monae
Image by Michael Dornbierer via Flickr/Creative Commons

Janelle Monae, another celebrant at the event, is proof that Washington is right. Monae has made a name for herself in the music industry without changing her style or her unique sound to conform to trends. She was even recently tapped to be a Cover Girl.

"I didn't have to change who I was to become a Cover Girl," Monae said. "I didn't have to become perfect. Perfection is often the enemy of greatness."

She went on to say, "Embrace what makes you unique even if it makes other people uncomfortable."

Alicia Keys
Image by Walmart Stores via Flickr/Creative Commons

Singer Alicia Keys was also recognized for both her accomplishments in music and her foundation Keep a Child Alive, which is dedicated to providing life-saving AIDS treatment and support services to families affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa and India.

Keys reminded black girls (and women) of this: "Everything that you want to be you already are and you are simply on the path of discovering it."

Writing often feels like a solitary act, a lonely occupation. Many of us create our best work in moments of quiet solitude, rubbing our tired eyes as we stare at a bright computer screen in a dimly lit room.

But any writer who thinks she can do it all on her own is kidding herself. As author Natalie Goldberg has taught me, writing is a communal act. Sometimes we need someone to help us banish writer's block or to make us submit that article, short story, poem, or proposal. Sometimes we need someone to tell us to stop talking about being a writer and actually write something for heaven's sake!

This is why I have a writing partner. For the past month or so I've been meeting with my writing partner every Tuesday afternoon at a local coffeehouse. For two hours we just sit together and write. And it is wonderful. It's hard to explain how much I enjoy our time together, but I know it simultaneously feels like recess and worship. Each pen stroke is an act of prayer and a moment of play.

I recently helped some members of See Jane Write Birmingham find writing partners and blogging mentors within our group. I call this little literary matchmaking program  The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pens, a name for which I cannot take credit (Thanks, Erin). Last night a few of the women in The Sisterhood got together for dinner at a local pizza parlor. Over slices of warm pie and glasses of cold beer, we chatted about our writing goals and the books we're reading. We dished about family drama and confessed our Twitter obsessions. And in just two hours we felt like family and were trying to figure out when we'd do this again.

Irene Grubbs, Glenny Brock, Javacia Harris Bowser (me!), Mimi Latoine, Mindy Santo, Jennifer Dome, and Amber Roberson

Writing partners Mimi and Mindy share a laugh. 

The reaction when Glenny revealed the topic of the book she's currently writing.

The hilarious Sherri and Irene

Amber and Sherri

OK, so Jesse Williams wasn't there, but I thought posting a picture of him on my blog two days in a row couldn't hurt.

Last week I went to my favorite local movie theater not once, but twice. (I’m almost mayor of the place on Foursquare.) And even though Magic Mike and The Amazing Spider-Man were great I’m still kicking myself that I have yet to see Brave. This Pixar film follows the adventures of Princess Merida who wants to defy the customs of her kingdom and choose her own path in life.  As a feminist, I should have been at the theater to see this opening day. I need to step my game up.


Writing for Nerve.com, Sonia Saraiya ranked Disney princesses from least to most feminist. File this under “Things I Wish I’d Written.” I really need to step my game up.

Looking at Saraiya’s list I immediately noticed that the three Disney princesses ranked the most feminist were also young women of color. I found this quite ironic since women of color are constantly being told, usually by members of their own ethnicity, that they can’t be feminist. Back in May I received an email that read: “A black woman cannot be a feminist…sorry.” True story.

Does this list mean women of color are better feminists? Of course, not! What it shows is the mark of progress. These feminist fairy tales not only seek to dismantle the notion that women should be demure, one-dimensional characters depending on a prince to save them, but also challenges the notion of what a princess looks like. She doesn’t always have to have blond hair and blue eyes. (Side note: I love that Princess Merida of Brave has thick, curly hair! That might be a Disney first.)

This got me to thinking, what does it take to create feminist fairy tale? Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• Your princess needs to actually be awake. She can’t be revolutionary if she spends half the story unconscious waiting for a dude to come kiss her. Princess Aurora, I’m talking to you.

• Your princess needs a voice. Sure, that sounds obvious, but Saraiya reminds us that in The Little Mermaid Ariel actually trades her voice so she can have a chance with a cute boy. (Though, she should get points for rescuing said boy from drowning and for longing for a life of adventure.)

• Your princess needs a sensible wardrobe. Not to give poor Ariel a hard time, but it’s hard to fight gender stereotypes in a clamshell bikini.

• Your princess needs a dream. She needs goals that go beyond just finding a husband. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying marriage is anti-feminist. I love being a wife, but I also love being a writer.  Perfect example: Tiana from The Princess and the Frog wants to run her own restaurant. If that’s not progressive I don’t know what is.

• Your princess needs to be badass. There’s really no other way to say this. For example, instead of waiting to be rescued, your princess needs to be the one saving others, yes, even men. She needs to be the hero of her own story. Check out the Nerve article to find out which Disney princess is the most feminist (and badass) of them all and let me know if you agree or not.

And while reading that article, this song kept playing in my head...

Who are you favorite Disney princesses?

Photo by D. Sharon Pruitt of Pink Sherbet Photography
Image via Flickr/Creative Commons

Melissa Harris-Perry, Sloane Crosley, and Crystal Renn. A political talk TV show host, a humor writer, and a supermodel. It seems these three women have nothing in common, but they do. They are all atop my very long list of girl crushes.

I've written about some of my girl crushes before, confessing my love for the likes of First Lady Michelle Obama, pop icon Beyonce, actresses Zoe Saldana and Scarlet Johansson, and broadcast journalist Soledad O'Brien. And lately it seems the girl crush has become some sort of phenomenon, regularly popping up in the media.

In a recent article for W magazine, Thessaly la Force explored what all this girl crushing could mean. She writes:

The “girl crush” may sound ­silly, but sometimes it takes something ­unserious to get us talking about a serious subject: the ambitions of young creative women and the need for ­worthy role models. Among my own nominees for inaugural members of the Girl Crush Hall of Fame are Zadie Smith, with her daring, brilliance, and wild success; Joan ­Didion, with her cool, spare prose; Patti Smith, with her soul and wisdom; Sofia Coppola, with her chic grace and unmistakable taste; and Tina Fey, with her goofy smile and razor wit. Each of them has accomplished something the rest of us dream of doing. And because they’ve done it, we feel we can too.

She's right. We all need role models, not superheroes, but real people doing the very things we want to one day achieve. And girl crushes are exactly that. 

Harris-Perry, an educator, black feminist writer, and host of The Melissa Harris-Perry Show on MSNBC, encourages me to hold fast to my feminist beliefs, even if they're not always popular, and shows that I can and should find a way to make my voice heard.  Sloane Crosley, author of I Was Told There'd Be Cake and How Did You Get This Number, is the model I look to as I dream of publishing a collection of essays. And Crystal Renn, plus-size supermodel and author of the memoir Hungry, motivates me to learn to love my body and write about my journey to self-acceptance once I've actually achieved it. 

Furthermore, Harris-Perry and Renn both teach a lesson about the importance of platform. If you have something you believe in -- whether it's feminism, empowering racial minorities, or promoting healthy body image in women and realistic beauty standards in fashion -- build a platform and get your voice heard. And you will find there are plenty of  people out there who feel the same and were just waiting for someone to speak up. 

Girl crushes can cultivate our creativity as they push us to work toward our artistic goals. 

But, wait! There's more. 

Thessaly la Force also argues that the prevalence of girl crushes could indicate a slight narrowing of the gender gap:

I can’t help but believe our current generation’s embrace of girl crushing signifies something larger: evidence that a professional world once dominated by men has evened out—maybe not totally, but to a reassuring degree. When ­Didion first set out to become a writer, she copied the sentences of Ernest Hemingway; today, my friends and I copy hers.

Young women dreaming of  hosting their own political talk TV show no longer have to solely look to Larry King. They have women like Harris-Perry as role models too. And anyone who says women can't be funny has clearly never read one of Crosley's essays. 

Who are your girl crushes and how do they help your creativity? 

Image by Mike Licht via Creative Commons

Mariam, Carol, Kate, Tatiana, Traci, and the dozens of women who are a part of See Jane Write. These are some of the people I imagine are peeking over my shoulder each time I sit down to write a post for this blog.

Last month in a post for Independent Fashion Bloggers called Manfluence: A Single Girl’s Guide to Blogging, Taylor Davies called discussed how knowing her new love interest was reading her style blog forced her to improve the quality of her content. She said once her guy revealed that he’d visiting her site she made sure her posts were smart, funny, and well-edited.  

I confess that when I first read this post the feminist in me was ready to rant. And no, not because she was going ga-ga over a guy. We’ve all been there and there’s nothing wrong with trying to impress your man (or woman.) I was upset because it seemed that she was implying that when she thought only women were reading her posts there was no need to add humor, improve her vocabulary, or proofread. But upon second reading I realized I was overreacting.

Her point, as she later states, is that we should all blog to impress someone.

Many of us come to see our blogs as spaces where we are free to be ourselves and let our creative self-expression run wild. And while that’s a good thing on one hand, on the other hand we can be tempted to get too comfortable on our blogs and the quality of the content suffers as a result.

So, again, blog to impress someone. It doesn’t matter if it’s a spouse, a parent, a co-worker, or a crush, but write your blog posts with that person in mind. You may even want to write your posts as if potential literary agents, editors, or publishers are reading.

When people ask me what inspires me, it never takes long for me to answer. I am most inspired by creative women, creative women like the ones I named above. And it is my hope that I can somehow inspire them. And so with each blog post I’m striving to do just that.

Just Call Me C. Jane Wright

In March of 2011 I decided to start a networking group for women writers in Birmingham, Ala. At the time I only knew two women who were interested in such a group, but I felt in my heart that there were many more out there craving a creative writing community. So I gave my idea a name -- See Jane Write -- and browsed blogs, magazines, newspapers, and websites looking for women to stalk, er, contact about being a part of this new group.

Today the See Jane Write mailing list boasts about 200 names and has a strong presence on Facebook and Twitter as well. Through the organization I've hosted six events -- three social events and three educational events on the following topics: how and why writers should use Twitter, the keys to successful blogging, and freelance writing.

This week I was honored to be featured on the website Magic City Made to talk about my work with See Jane Write.

In the interview I share the story behind the name tag you see in the picture above and my love for Birmingham. Click here to check out the article.

Happy Saturday, babes! I've decided to start posting some of my best content from my blog GeorgiaMae.com here at The Writeous Babe Project too. Check out this post on race and weight loss. 

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Image via Creative Commons

The Los Angeles Times reported Tuesday that a recent study published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine found that while exercise is a nearly sure way to prevent obesity in white adolescent girls, it does not have the same effect on African American girls.

From the L.A. Times:

The study, published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, found that among black adolescent girls who moved the most at age 12, obesity at age 14 was nearly as likely as it was for those whose activity rates were far lower.

For white girls, by contrast, regular exercise at 12 appeared a nearly sure way to head off obesity at 14. That finding held, even when the calorie intakes of an African American youngster and her white counterpart were the same.

The article goes on to say that the study falls in line with research that finds black women oxidize fat more slowly in response to exercise, and that their resting metabolic rates are lower than those of white women.

These findings come in the midst of a national effort to fight the obesity epidemic in the United States and many of those efforts focus on black women. Four in five African American women are overweight or obese when measured by the body mass index, or BMI. Even First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign has had a strong focus on encouraging black girls to be more active since experts say the run-up in weight may begin in adolescence.

So with this new research should black women and girls just give up? Should we hang up our sneakers and head to the couch? Of course not!

In fact, Linda Bacon, an associate nutritionist with UC Davis who was interviewed for the L.A. Times article, has been very critical of the focus on things like weight, BMI, and percent body fat. She believes that people should be encouraged to exercise and eat right for the sake of good health, not a number on a scale. 

The focus on weight can discourage people from being active and eating a healthy diet if they’re not shedding pounds and can lead thin people who eat junk food all the time to think that they’re healthy. Bacon does not believe weight alone determines a person’s level of health.

In the March issue of Glamour magazine she was quoted saying that overweight people can lead long, disease-free lives. “If you eat a good diet and exercise” Bacon told Glamour, “you’re likely to be healthy, no matter what the scale says.”

About a year ago I made the decision to get rid of my scale. I had successfully shed some pounds I wanted to lose but along the way I had become obsessed with my weight, so much so that my sense of self-worth had become too tied to my size. So last summer I trashed my scale and decided to focus on overall fitness. 

That’s when I started training for a half-marathon, something I never thought I would do because even though I had always enjoyed things like dance aerobics classes I had always told myself I could never be a runner. But in February of this year I crossed the finish line of the Mercedes Benz Half-Marathon in Birmingham, Alabama donning a Black Girls Run t-shirt and track jacket. 

This summer I’m working to improve my strength, while still doing plenty of running, dancing, and cycling to maintain good cardiovascular health.

And the only time you will see me stepping on a scale is at a doctor’s office.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think that for some women weight loss is crucial. If you’ve been told by a doctor that you need to shed pounds because your weight is putting you at serious risk for life-threatening diseases, then by all means follow your doctor’s orders, but do so by making lifestyle changes, not with a crash diet. And don’t get discouraged from your efforts to exercise and eat right just because you can’t reach a magic number on a chart or wear a certain size dress or jeans.

So to all women, regardless of race, out there hitting the gym to lift weights, work that elliptical or dance at your favorite aerobics class, keep moving! To all women and girls pounding the pavement training for your first 5K, 10K, or half-marathon, keep running. With each step you are making your body healthier and stronger, even if it’s not getting smaller.