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I am convinced God placed me on earth to write and to empower women. For years I've struggled with trying to figure out a way to balance both of these great passions of mine.

To be a true feminist, I thought, I needed a women's studies degree and to get involved in politics and policy change. To be a feminist meant to be an activist. 

But I wanted to be a writer, not a politician, and I have since I was 7 years old. 

Then one day I realized that writing is a form of activism, that writing is a feminist act. 

Just a cursory review of history will reveal that one of the primary ways society has sought to oppress and objectify women is simply by silencing them. So as a woman the very act of writing, the very act of sharing my story, has been an attack against patriarchy, whether I realized it or not. 

But this isn't just about me and my voice. I've discovered that when I share my story something wonderful happens -- other women are encouraged to share their stories too. 

For example, about two and a half weeks ago I shared a post about not wanting children -- a very difficult piece to write, indeed. But after I wrote it, several women reached out to me about also not wanting to be mothers and about being afraid or ashamed to share these feelings publicly. I urged all these women to share their stories and at least one actually followed my advice. 

Yesterday, Dawn Keable featured my post "Why I'm Reluctant to Write About Not Wanting Kids," on her blog, and introduced my article with a story of her own, a story about how she and her husband have built a beautiful and full life together, without children. 

I love that in her writing, Keable challenges the common notion that women who don't want children are selfish. She writes:

"And if you're judging my character or basing my self-worth as a person on whether or not I'm a parent, then that's an incredibly sad reflection. On you." 

What story do you need to share? Will you do it? 

Photo credit: Julie Jordan Scott
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I often describe myself as a Southern fried feminist and not simply because that phrase is catchy and cute. I was born and bred in Birmingham, Alabama and now that I've returned to my hometown I find myself constantly striving to reconcile my feminist ideals with Southern values. 

At the risk of perpetuating stereotypes about the South, there are a few themes that are highly important in Southern culture. Those things include faith, family, food, and fashion, as well as issues of race. With that in mind, here is my Southern Fried Feminist Manifesto...

I am a Southern fried feminist and this means I have faith. I am a Jesus-loving, church-going gal, but I refuse to buy into the lie that I am somehow a second class citizen in God's kingdom simply because Eve was made from Adam's rib and took the first bite from that forbidden fruit. 

I am a Southern fried feminist and this means I value family. I cherish my relationship with my husband and I strive to honor him in all I do, but I did not trade in my voice or my dreams for a wedding ring. My husband and I are partners. We believe the Bible teaches mutual submission, not the idea that "virtuous woman" is a synonym for doormat. 

I am a Southern fried feminist and this means I love to eat. But I love food because it brings people together. Because I love to eat, "I be up in the gym just working on my fitness," as Fergie says. A feminist girl can't save the world if she's unhealthy and out of shape. 

I am a Southern fried feminist and this means I love fashion. Yes, fashion. Sure, the South isn’t home to any fashion capitals of the world, but down here below the Mason-Dixon line taking care of your appearance isn’t about vanity, but good manners. In the South, dressing inappropriately for any occasion is considered just plain rude. 

I am a Southern fried feminist and I am black. With regard to what race and feminism mean to me, I believe poet June Jordan said it best: 

"I am a feminist, and what that means to me is much the same as the meaning of the fact that I am Black: it means that I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect."

What's your manifesto?

*Originally published at GeorgiaMae.com. 

I Can Do Anything, But Not Everything

Photo Credit: Jessica Mullen
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Unlike many of my friends, I did not approach turning 30 with dread or dismay. I spent my late 20s rather excited about this monumental birthday because I was certain that once it arrived my life would finally make sense. I would turn 30 and instantly have the confidence that eluded me in the days of my youth. I'd finally know who I was and what I wanted.

You can stop your hysterical laughter now. 

If you're over 30 you know that none of this happens. 

But now, at the age of 31, I can say that one thing has become abundantly clear; I have learned one lesson that I think will help guide me the rest of the days of my life:  I can do anything that I want, but I can't do everything that I want -- at least not all at once. 

Thanks to God's grace and the work ethic instilled in me by my father, I believe that I can accomplish any goal I set for myself, but only if I stay focused. The minute I get distracted by some other lofty aspiration, it's over.  All bets are off. And this year I've realized that I am often trying to juggle far too many projects to truly excel at any of them. I'm a Jill of all trades and master of none. 

Today is my half-birthday (yes, I still celebrate those). In six months I'll be 32. No, I don't expect all that confidence and clarity I mentioned earlier to descend upon me then. But by my 32 birthday I want to have decided on that one big professional goal that I'm going to wholeheartedly pursue. Will I write a book? Will I launch an online magazine? Will I strive to be a blogging star? Will I go after a secret goal of mine I have yet to mention to anyone? Only time will tell.

What is the one lofty goal  you want to accomplish right now?

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I've been on the verge of tears or the brink of letting out a bloodcurdling scream for the past few days. Sometimes life sucks.

But don't worry, this isn't one of those posts where I word vomit and tell you all my problems. Instead this is a post where I try to change my attitude by focusing on what's right, not what's wrong, in my life. This is a post where I give thanks. 

Today I am thankful for: 

God's grace, provision, and unconditional love

the lessons God teaches us through life circumstances

the blessings that come from seemingly bad situations

my loving, selfless, hardworking husband

my parents

my little brother

my cousin who is my best friend and the sister I never had

my job at an amazing performing arts school

the strength and abilities my body possesses in spite of a health condition that says I should be fragile and weak 

shelter, food, clothing, and reliable transportation

my passion and talent for writing 

See Jane Write 

all the ladies who take the time to comment on this blog so that I know I'm not talking to myself 

What are you thankful for today? 

Photo Credit: University of Scranton Weinberg Memorial Library
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If you happened to catch Part 1 or Part 2 of my summer reading list you probably noticed I don't read a lot of fiction. Well, actually, as a teacher of early American literature I read plenty of fiction by the likes of Kate Chopin, Edgar Allan Poe, and Nathaniel Hawthorne. But when it comes to what I read in my free time it's usually non-fiction such as memoirs or collections of personal essays. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm one of those pretentious pricks who say things like "It's such a waste of time to read fiction. I need something real." But because I consider myself a creative non-fiction writer, I mostly read creative non-fiction.

This needs to change. I need to add more fiction to my reading repertoire. Essayists, journalists and memoirists can learn a lot from fiction. Regardless of genre, every writer and every artist is striving to tell a story. What better way to learn the art of storytelling than from great novels and short stories? Fiction, for example, teaches us that stories don't always have to be linear. It's OK to start in the middle or even at the end. 

But wait there's more! 

Reading more fiction might also make you more popular. It's true. From the Harvard Business Review Blog:

“Over the past decade, academic researchers…from York University have gathered data indicating that fiction-reading activates neuronal pathways in the brain that measurably help the reader better understand real human emotion — improving his or her overall social skillfulness.”

So reading more fiction could make me a better writer and a better friend. That's a pretty sweet deal.

What are some of your favorite works of fiction? 

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Last week a friend I greatly admire told me she's proud of me. She said she's proud of the work I've done through See Jane Write, the success I've had landing new freelancing gigs, and my efforts to grow this blog.

This really meant a lot to me because she is a very accomplished journalist and a social media guru.

Then she asked, "so where are you going with all of this?"

I had a very profound response to this question: "Uh, I dunno."

And it's true. I have no idea where I would like all this to lead. I have no grand goal in mind. There is no 5-year plan. I wanted to be part of a networking group for local women writers so I started one. After leaving my full-time reporting job for a new career in education I missed seeing my byline, so I started freelancing. I love blogging so I blog. But ask me what's next and I've got nothing. I often talk about making my writing dreams come true, but at this point I'm not even sure what that means.

After our conversation, after this revelation, I proceeded to have a come-apart once my friend and I went our separate ways. "You're 31, Javacia! That's way too old to not have a clear life plan!" I told myself.

Enter U.S. Olympic swimmer Brendan Hansen. (Yes, I'm writing about the Olympics again. We only have one more week. Indulge me.) At 30, Hansen came out of retirement to compete in the London games this year. In an interview with Glamour he talked about the importance of appreciating the journey when you're training for the Olympics:

"I swim four hours a day for two years to prepare for one race that's 59 seconds long and another that's less than two minutes. People are like, 'Why would you do that?' But to me, it's not just about the outcome. When you're in a sport like this, so much of it is the journey and so little of it is the race."

This quote brings me comfort even though swimming has very little to do with writing. I'm enjoying blogging. I'm enjoying organizing events for See Jane Write. I'm enjoying reporting and writing. I'm enjoying this journey.

This doesn't mean I don't need a plan. I still think I need one and hope to figure that out soon. But in the meantime, I'm going to keep having fun.

Do you have a life plan? What are you doing to enjoy the journey?

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I have discovered a calorie-free brunch! 


Well, actually, when I participated in the Twitter chat known as Blog Brunch yesterday it wasn't as healthy as it could have been because I was snacking on Tropical Chewy Lemonheads & Friends the whole time. Nevertheless, the blogging and social media tips I gathered from the chat were plenty good for me. 


Blog Brunch is "a collaborative network powered by bloggers wanting to share, dream and learn with other creatives in the blogging community" that hosts Twitter chats on various blogging topics. 


Yesterday's chat was about reader engagement, something that's very important to me. This summer I've been fortunate enough to have had several of you comment on nearly all of my posts. You have no idea how much that means to me. When I decided to make The Writeous Babe Project more than just a place to post teasers to articles and essays I'd published, I decided I wanted to make this a blog that would encourage and inspire other women writers. But I have no idea if I'm doing that unless you leave comments and send me emails letting me know. And you have. And for that I thank you. 


Because commenting on posts is such a huge part of reader engagement, it's important to make commenting as easy as possible. I know that's probably not the case here. You have to get through that annoying CAPTCHA crap which usually takes me three attempts to get right when I'm commenting on other blogs. Hold tight, I plan to switch to Comment Luv or Disqus soon. 


Social media is obviously another way, if not one of the best ways, to engage with readers. But make sure you're not all business all the time. If you do nothing but post or tweet out links to your blog posts your followers are going to get bored pretty quickly. It's like having a friend who only talks about work. Use social media to share personal tidbits of your day that aren't blog-worthy but are still fun and interesting, suggested Lisa Butler (@elembee). 


I try to tweet at least four times a day --- sharing a link to my blog, sharing a link to an interesting article I've read, promoting someone else's work, and showing a bit of my personal life and personality. Some days I fail miserably at this, but that's what I aim for each day. 


Another thing to remember: bloggers must support other bloggers. Visit other blogs and leave meaningful comments. Naomi Anselmo (@ofanselm) said it perfectly: "Blogging is about connecting with others. Nobody makes friends by waiting for everyone else to visit them at their place." 


How do you engage with your readers?