Image via Flickr/Creative Commons

I don't like asking people for help. 

My parents say I've been this way since I was a child. I've been called "fiercely independent" and I carry this label around like a trophy; I wear it like an "S" on my chest. 

But sometimes, actually oftentimes, two heads are better than one. Sometimes I need help. 

A member of my writing group See Jane Write recently wrote a blog post on this very topic. In her post she stated: "One of the biggest lessons I learned when it came to goals is that to achieve you have to know when to ask for help." 

My fellow Jane went on to challenge the other ladies in the group to post their goals on our Facebook group page so that we could help one another realize these dreams. I often write about my goals on my blog and mention them on various social media outlets, but usually for the sake of accountability, not for assistance. 

But that changes today. 

I have a major goal for 2013 and I need help! Next year I would like to take all the steps necessary to make See Jane Write an official non-profit organization. I have such big dreams for this group. I want to offer more programs, a conference, and a writing camp for girls. But to do these things I need money and sponsors, and to get money and sponsors I need my group to be a 501(c)(3). But the very idea of this is so overwhelming it makes my stomach hurt. 

So I'm asking for help.

Now, it's your turn. What's your major goal for the next year? Leave it in the comments so I and other readers can give you a hand. And I leave you with this: 

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. 

Indeed. It is the only thing that ever has." --Margaret Mead

Cross-posted at the See Jane Write blog.

Image by David Shankbone via Flickr/Creative Commons

Dear Taylor,

I wasn't going to write about this. By now it's old news that last month when interviewed by The Daily Beast you said you're not a feminist Actually, when asked if you considered yourself a feminist your exact words were: 

I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life.

Taylor, I understand where you're coming from. When I was your age I wouldn't call myself a feminist either. I would say things like, "I'll start calling myself a feminist when feminists stop bashing men."

Little did I know feminism isn't about bashing men. It's not about "guys versus girls" as you said. Feminism is the belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. Period. Sure, there may be some misguided women who disparage men in the name of feminism, but that is not the true spirit of the movement. 

In fact, feminism is helpful for men as well, because they too are harmed by sexism. Gender stereotypes tell men they can't show emotion, that they're only worth as much as their last paycheck, and that their physical strength is more important than their intellect.

My goal here isn't to convince you to identify as a feminist, but I want you to know that feminism is about creating a world where women can "work as hard as guys" and actually "go far in life." Perhaps you think a women's movement is no longer necessary since women can't legally be held back from pursuing any career to which they aspire. But we can't deny that women still aren't paid as much as their male counterparts. Women in leadership positions who are no-nonsense and assertive are often called a "bitch" while women who are nurturing to their employees are viewed as weak. And female politicians are frequently asked more about their wardrobes and families than their policies. I could go on and on, but my point is there is still work to be done. 

Sincerely,
Javacia  

On a recent episode of Sesame Street, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor let Abby Cadabby and girls everywhere know that while pretending to be a princess is fun, it is not a career. Instead they can and should aspire to be a teacher, lawyer, doctor, engineer, or even a scientist. “A career," Sotomayor says, "is something that you train for and prepare for and plan on doing for a long time.”

And donning her judicial robe, Sotomayor's presence and wise words lets girls know they can pursue any career they want, even a career as a judge. 

Thank you, Sotomayor, and thanks Sesame Street! 


h/t Feministing

Image by Enokson via Flickr/Creative Commons

Thanks to readers like you, I have decided to move forward with plans of establishing myself as a feminist blogger.

On Friday I met with a local feminist blogger that I admire and who writes for the site Feministe.  One piece of advice she offered during our chat was making a list of 25 sites to visit regularly for information and inspiration. I knew this was something I needed to do because I’d read and heard this advice before. Over the summer I even started working on a list but never completed it.

It’s time to stop procrastinating.

Now I know there’s no way I’ll have time to read 25 different blogs a day. But if I can skim through 5 a day, 5 days a week, I should stay on top of things and should have plenty to jot down in my journal of blog post ideas.

My list not only includes feminist sites, but also blogs on topics of interest to me such as natural hair, fashion, blogging, and writing. And here we go...

1. Feministing

2.  Feministe

3. Bust Magazine

4. Ms. Magazine Blog

5. Jezebel

6. xoJane

7. For Harriet

8. Those Graces

9. The Crunk Feminist Collective

10. The Jane Dough 

11. Huff Post Women

12. Clutch Magazine

13. SexyFeminist.com

14. Everyday Feminism 

15. Independent Fashion Bloggers

16. Goins Writer

17. BritniDanielle.com

18. Writablity

19. The Frisky

20. Slate's The Double X Factor Blog

21. Curly Nikki

22. Black Girl With Long Hair

23. Racialicious

24. Girl with Pen

25. The Feminist Wire

What blogs do you read each week? 

Image by Garrett via Flickr/Creative Commons

For the past month the senior pastor of my church has been teaching on the idea of legacy and how to really make a difference in the world.

Yesterday, he told us to leave a legacy we have to:
1. Do what we should do.
2. Do what we could do.
3. Do what we would do.

Doing what you should do is, quite simply, about doing the right thing. It's about being faithful, finishing what you start, and keeping your word.

Doing what you could do is a bit more difficult. This is something that requires us to give up something. Consider the meaningful things you could be doing if you stopped doing some of the less important things that take up so much of your time now. Doing what you could do is about sacrifice. Yesterday my pastor reminded us that, "Leaving a legacy will always cost you something."

Doing what you would do, however, if even more of a challenge. This one is about faith. It's about having the courage to dream. Think of all the times you've said, "Oh I would do (fill in the blank) if only I had..." So here's your challenge: do it anyway. Pursue that lofty aspiration even if you don't have enough time, enough money, enough education, or enough connections. Do it anyway.

And once you have achieved that dream against all odds you can be sure you will be leaving a legacy that will inspire others for years to come.

Image by Annie Mole via Flickr/Creative Commons

Today is day 11 of #bloglikecrazy, my challenge to write 30 blog posts in 30 days.

Last night I sat in front of my computer for two and a half hours trying to think of something to blog about for today. I didn't feel inspired by any of the prompts I've been providing for folks joining me in #bloglikecrazy, and the words just wouldn't come for the post I'd hoped to write.

Suddenly, I became very discouraged and began to doubt myself. What's the point? I wondered. Why am I bothering to "blog like crazy" in the first place. It's not like I have thousands upon thousands of people eagerly awaiting to read my words. Why do I even bother to blog in the first place when there are so many other blogs out there about writing by people who have been more successful than I and so many blogs out there about feminism by people with more education in women's history and gender studies. 

Then suddenly, as if the Creator heard my whining and decided to do something to pull me out of my self-pity, I stumbled upon a blog entry on The YeYo Diaries titled What's the Point of Blogging? In the post the blog's author Amber lists reasons why she has continued to blog for five years despite the fact that the blogosphere is so crowded these days.

Even before reading Amber's list my own reason began to flood my mind, reminding me that I have never blogged for millions of page views, for money or to win blogging awards (although those things would be nice).

I blog for the practice, the people, and the personal growth.

The Practice. I've mentioned on this blog before the importance of treating writing as a practice, as something we must work at daily like the football player preparing for the big game or the runner training for a marathon. Blogging is the perfect way to practice my writing. Blogging also helps me work on making my writing more captivating and concise, which helps me write stronger articles for the publications for which I freelance.

The People. Ironically, for me the best thing about blogging has little to do with the process of writing. What I enjoy most about blogging is all the connections I've made with other women who blog. This month's #bloglikecrazy challenge has been the perfect example of how blogging can bring people together. Many of the women in my writing group See Jane Write are participating in #bloglikecrazy and over the past several days they have been sharing their blog posts on the See Jane Write Facebook group page. These posts have sparked meaningful conversations about topics ranging from fitness to family to mental health. And in most cases these conversations have been between women who didn't know one another before meeting via See Jane Write and #bloglikecrazy. These women have discovered common interests and decided to build relationships offline. In a few weeks we'll be gathering at a local park for a short run and a picnic of healthy snacks, an event that evolved from a conversation that began because of a blog post.

The Personal Growth. I've never viewed any of my blogs as online diaries. The first blog I wrote was one I maintained for the alternative weekly I worked for in Louisville, Ky. Then I started Georgia Mae with the idea that it would evolve into an online women's magazine. And The Writeous Babe Project was originally meant to be a blog for writers. Yet, with all these sites I inevitably did write about my personal life. Often the best way to discuss current events, feminist issues, and  matters important to writers is by sharing my own experiences. Thus, my blog has been a way for me to work through personal issues in a productive and creative way. And just clicking though the archives is a great way to see how much I've grown and changed over the years.

Why do you blog?

Image by Rosmary via Flickr/Creative Commons

 The cool crisp air greeting me in the mornings and the bright red leaves on the trees outside my patio window signal that fall is here and 2012 is coming to end. For me this is a cue to start jotting down goals for 2013. But thanks to Katie at A Place to Dwell, I've decided to put my planning process for 2013 on hold for a bit and do something new -- 4 Simple Goals. This project is the brainchild of Elsie at A Beautiful Mess and you can find the rules in detail here. Essentially, you pick simple, activity-oriented goals that will make your life richer, happier, and healthier. Elsie also recommends that you reward yourself for sticking to your plans and that you blog about your progress. Here are my 4 Simple Goals Before 2013:

1. Start exercising 6 days a week. Supposedly we humans develop habits after doing something for 21 days, so once I've exercised 6 days a week for three weeks I'll consider this goal accomplished. 

2. Read and meditate on Scripture daily. Again, I will consider this goal accomplished after sticking with it for for 21 days. Since I'm so into blogging and building community between women, I think one thing that can help me with this goal is the blog SheReadsTruth.com. So I plan to follow the Bible reading plans offered there and chat with other women involved in this online community. 

3. Finish reading How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran. 

4. Spend more quality time with my husband. We've both been so busy lately we barely see each other. Before this year is over I'd like us to sit down and discuss how we can be more intentional about prioritizing our relationship. 

OK, it's your turn. What are your 4 Simple Goals (Before 2013)?