I Now Pronounce You Blog and Wife

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Blog Girl, after Norman Rockwell (detail)
Image by Mike Licht via Flickr/Creative Commons

Last night I decided to marry my blog. 

I've already confessed to falling asleep spooning my iPad so it only makes sense that I take this relationship to the next level. 

So I'm marrying my blog. No, I'm not leaving the hubster. (Does this make me a polygamist?) Let me explain. 

Tuesday night, thanks to a post on BritniDanielle.com, I discovered an essay on writing by Eat Pray Love author Elizabeth Gilbert and read this passage:
I believe that – if you are serious about a life of writing, or indeed about any creative form of expression – that you should take on this work like a holy calling. I became a writer the way other people become monks or nuns. I made a vow to writing, very young. I became Bride-of-Writing. I was writing’s most devotional handmaiden. I built my entire life around writing. I didn’t know how else to do this. I didn’t know anyone who had ever become a writer. I had no, as they say, connections. I had no clues. I just began.

Yes. This. I absolutely believe that writing is my calling, but I can't say I've treated it as such. I've blogged about the importance of writing consistently and seeing writing as a practice, but I've failed to practice what I preach. 

But perhaps if I take my calling as a writer as seriously as I take my calling as a wife to my husband and a daughter of my God I might finally accomplish my goals. 

Gilbert's metaphor resonated with me because I know that when I neglect spiritual practices such as prayer and study of Scripture my relationship with God suffers. God feels distant. Likewise, when I don't spend quality time with my husband our relationship suffers. He feels distant. And when I neglect the practice of writing my relationship with myself suffers. Writing isn't something I do, it's who I am. So when I'm don't write I don't feel like myself. My true self feels distant. 

Blogging is my primary way of practicing my writing so that's the reasoning behind my bloggy matrimony. 

But here's the thing: I'm going to screw up. I'm going to announce a new editorial calendar (that's coming tomorrow), I'm going to stick with it for a few weeks, and then something's going to come up and I'm going to fall off the wagon and skip a day or two or five. That's why the following passage from the Gilbert essay meant so much to me: 
As for discipline – it’s important, but sort of over-rated. The more important virtue for a writer, I believe, is self-forgiveness. Because your writing will always disappoint you. Your laziness will always disappoint you. You will make vows: “I’m going to write for an hour every day,” and then you won’t do it. You will think: “I suck, I’m such a failure. I’m washed-up.” Continuing to write after that heartache of disappointment doesn’t take only discipline, but also self-forgiveness (which comes from a place of kind and encouraging and motherly love).

Forgiveness is essential in any sacred relationship. I sin and God forgives me. I have a bitchy attitude for no good reason toward my sweet husband and he forgives me. I fail at publishing a new blog post every day and I must forgive myself. 

So here we go, writeous blog. It's me and you, together forever. Writing, you are my soul mate and what God has joined together let no man put asunder.  


  1. Whew! Amen!! I just rededicated myself to writing too. I have vowed to stop all nonsense (things that I chose to do to distract myself) and just write. No matter what. I needed to read this today to know that I am NOT alone. I look forward to reading Gilbert's essay too. THANK YOU!

    1. Be sure to read the Gilbert essay. It's incredible. And I'm glad we're in this thing together!

  2. I like the second graph from the essay about setting aside time and then not following through. The story of my life! I'm learning to take some that pressure off of myself, so that I still enjoy writing, and avoid the trap of making it a unfun (is that a word? lol) for the sake of growing my blog.

    1. Yes, I absolutely needed to read that part of the essay. I am bad about not forgiving myself when I screw up. And I've also fallen into a trap of making blogging a chore.

  3. Congratulations on your relationship! You know, I write daily - but I made it apart of my routine. It's one of the first things I do every morning - I just made myself set my alarm clock for 30 minutes earlier. However, I'm not so serious in my dribble - it's more of a purging of sorts, brain dumping. It works though, I get those posts out. When I need something more "thoughtful," I will typically write something when I get home from work. Good luck to you and keep them coming!

  4. I really appreciated and needed this post, especially the part about forgiveness. Thank you! It's a constant struggle to balance life and art.