Photo Credit: Kate Mereand-Sinha
Image via Flickr/Creative Commons

Earlier this week I changed the tagline of this blog. It once read: "I have some stories. I want to look good while I share them." I didn't change it because I feared you'd think me vain. Trust me, I am vain. No need for you to wonder about that.

I changed my tagline to "My Life as a Blogger, Writer, and Southern Fried Feminist," simply because I believe it better describes what The Writeous Babe Project is all about. I do worry, however, that the
f-word might scare away or alienate some readers. For so many, feminist is a dirty word associated with this idea of a woman who hates men, marriage, makeup, and stay-at-home moms and who is angry about everything except an announcement that Ani DiFranco is coming to town.

As a happily married woman who loves eye shadow and is in awe of any woman who can stay home with a kid all day, I am a feminist who defies all those stereotypes.Well, not all of them. I freaking love Ani DiFranco!

People have asked me how I can be so bold as to call myself a feminist when that label has such negative connotations.  I can do so because I have a clear understanding of what feminism actually means. And I believe that if people -- both women and men -- would focus on the true definition of feminism they'd quickly realize they're a feminist too.

A few days ago a pal of mine asked me via Twitter what it means to be a feminist. She then clarified that what she really wanted to know what was my definition of feminism.

Feminism is simply the belief in the economic, political, and social equality of the sexes. Period. And if you believe in that, guess what, you're a feminist.

Things get complicated, however, when we get into how an individual chooses to live out her (or his) feminist believes, because feminism is both personal and political. It's a lifestyle.

I'm not going to write a single post on how I live out my feminism. That post would be ridiculously long and you'd stop reading and go back to watching the Olympics before getting halfway through it.

But each Friday from now until I run out of things to say, I am going to address different feminist issues here at The Writeous Babe Project. I'll do my best to relate the posts to writing, but sometimes I may need to just rant or rave.

I promise the posts will be interesting, as many of them will tackle those gray areas such as "Can I still call myself a feminist if I take pole dancing lessons?"

And I promise the posts will be fun, because as feminist humor writer Caitlin Moran said in a recent interview, "Feminism is a revolution and revolutions are fun."

Last week I went to my favorite local movie theater not once, but twice. (I’m almost mayor of the place on Foursquare.) And even though Magic Mike and The Amazing Spider-Man were great I’m still kicking myself that I have yet to see Brave. This Pixar film follows the adventures of Princess Merida who wants to defy the customs of her kingdom and choose her own path in life.  As a feminist, I should have been at the theater to see this opening day. I need to step my game up.


Writing for Nerve.com, Sonia Saraiya ranked Disney princesses from least to most feminist. File this under “Things I Wish I’d Written.” I really need to step my game up.

Looking at Saraiya’s list I immediately noticed that the three Disney princesses ranked the most feminist were also young women of color. I found this quite ironic since women of color are constantly being told, usually by members of their own ethnicity, that they can’t be feminist. Back in May I received an email that read: “A black woman cannot be a feminist…sorry.” True story.

Does this list mean women of color are better feminists? Of course, not! What it shows is the mark of progress. These feminist fairy tales not only seek to dismantle the notion that women should be demure, one-dimensional characters depending on a prince to save them, but also challenges the notion of what a princess looks like. She doesn’t always have to have blond hair and blue eyes. (Side note: I love that Princess Merida of Brave has thick, curly hair! That might be a Disney first.)

This got me to thinking, what does it take to create feminist fairy tale? Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• Your princess needs to actually be awake. She can’t be revolutionary if she spends half the story unconscious waiting for a dude to come kiss her. Princess Aurora, I’m talking to you.

• Your princess needs a voice. Sure, that sounds obvious, but Saraiya reminds us that in The Little Mermaid Ariel actually trades her voice so she can have a chance with a cute boy. (Though, she should get points for rescuing said boy from drowning and for longing for a life of adventure.)

• Your princess needs a sensible wardrobe. Not to give poor Ariel a hard time, but it’s hard to fight gender stereotypes in a clamshell bikini.

• Your princess needs a dream. She needs goals that go beyond just finding a husband. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying marriage is anti-feminist. I love being a wife, but I also love being a writer.  Perfect example: Tiana from The Princess and the Frog wants to run her own restaurant. If that’s not progressive I don’t know what is.

• Your princess needs to be badass. There’s really no other way to say this. For example, instead of waiting to be rescued, your princess needs to be the one saving others, yes, even men. She needs to be the hero of her own story. Check out the Nerve article to find out which Disney princess is the most feminist (and badass) of them all and let me know if you agree or not.

And while reading that article, this song kept playing in my head...

Who are you favorite Disney princesses?

Photo by D. Sharon Pruitt of Pink Sherbet Photography
Image via Flickr/Creative Commons

Melissa Harris-Perry, Sloane Crosley, and Crystal Renn. A political talk TV show host, a humor writer, and a supermodel. It seems these three women have nothing in common, but they do. They are all atop my very long list of girl crushes.

I've written about some of my girl crushes before, confessing my love for the likes of First Lady Michelle Obama, pop icon Beyonce, actresses Zoe Saldana and Scarlet Johansson, and broadcast journalist Soledad O'Brien. And lately it seems the girl crush has become some sort of phenomenon, regularly popping up in the media.

In a recent article for W magazine, Thessaly la Force explored what all this girl crushing could mean. She writes:

The “girl crush” may sound ­silly, but sometimes it takes something ­unserious to get us talking about a serious subject: the ambitions of young creative women and the need for ­worthy role models. Among my own nominees for inaugural members of the Girl Crush Hall of Fame are Zadie Smith, with her daring, brilliance, and wild success; Joan ­Didion, with her cool, spare prose; Patti Smith, with her soul and wisdom; Sofia Coppola, with her chic grace and unmistakable taste; and Tina Fey, with her goofy smile and razor wit. Each of them has accomplished something the rest of us dream of doing. And because they’ve done it, we feel we can too.

She's right. We all need role models, not superheroes, but real people doing the very things we want to one day achieve. And girl crushes are exactly that. 

Harris-Perry, an educator, black feminist writer, and host of The Melissa Harris-Perry Show on MSNBC, encourages me to hold fast to my feminist beliefs, even if they're not always popular, and shows that I can and should find a way to make my voice heard.  Sloane Crosley, author of I Was Told There'd Be Cake and How Did You Get This Number, is the model I look to as I dream of publishing a collection of essays. And Crystal Renn, plus-size supermodel and author of the memoir Hungry, motivates me to learn to love my body and write about my journey to self-acceptance once I've actually achieved it. 

Furthermore, Harris-Perry and Renn both teach a lesson about the importance of platform. If you have something you believe in -- whether it's feminism, empowering racial minorities, or promoting healthy body image in women and realistic beauty standards in fashion -- build a platform and get your voice heard. And you will find there are plenty of  people out there who feel the same and were just waiting for someone to speak up. 

Girl crushes can cultivate our creativity as they push us to work toward our artistic goals. 

But, wait! There's more. 

Thessaly la Force also argues that the prevalence of girl crushes could indicate a slight narrowing of the gender gap:

I can’t help but believe our current generation’s embrace of girl crushing signifies something larger: evidence that a professional world once dominated by men has evened out—maybe not totally, but to a reassuring degree. When ­Didion first set out to become a writer, she copied the sentences of Ernest Hemingway; today, my friends and I copy hers.

Young women dreaming of  hosting their own political talk TV show no longer have to solely look to Larry King. They have women like Harris-Perry as role models too. And anyone who says women can't be funny has clearly never read one of Crosley's essays. 

Who are your girl crushes and how do they help your creativity?