Back in April I attempted to host a virtual book club here at The Writeous Babe Project and it was an EPIC FAIL. 

My pal Mariam warned me. When I asked readers if I should host the book club online or IRL she said that "Online is too easy to back out of...I just think your participation will be much richer...if you do it in person." And boy was she right. Even I backed out of my virtual book club once I was buried beneath all the papers I have to grade at the end of the school year. 

So let's try this again. Sort of. 

This summer I'm co-leading a Church of the Highlands small group with my friend Jamie Golden of Jamie's Rabbits. For six weeks we'll be reading and discussing Restless by Jennie Allen. 

Are you feeling restless these days? I am.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not bored. I have way too much going on in my life to ever be bored. But I am in a state of longing for what's next. I'm wondering what all the many things I'm doing right now are leading to and sometimes I wonder if they're leading to anything at all. 

Sometimes I feel as if I'm unraveling. And that's why I need to dig into this book and I need to dig deep. 

Restless is described as "a practical plan to identify the threads of your life and how to intentionally weave them together for God's glory and purposes." 

Yes to all of that. 

This book doesn't suggest that we add more things to our to-do list (thank God) but invites us to be still and see how God is already moving in our lives. Through this group we'll dig into five areas: gifts, suffering, places, people, and passions. 

This study promises to help me, to help us, untangle the thread of our lives and assemble them together in one place to reveal a beautiful plan designed by the Creator: God's Agenda + my threads + the need + the Holy Spirit = my purpose. 

So this isn't technically the Writeous Babe Book Club. It's a Church of the Highlands small group. But it's kind of like a book club only we'll meet weekly and there will be some praying and lots of Jesus talk. 

If you're a woman in the Birmingham area and would like to be part of this small group, email me at javacia@gmail.com for details. 

The group begins June 1 and we'll meet every Sunday from 4-6 p.m. 

In the first chapter of her book Jesus Feminist, Sarah Bessey declares, "Jesus made a feminist out of me." 

Later she defines Jesus feminist for anyone left perplexed by the term: "I call myself a Jesus feminist because to me, the qualifier meant I am a feminist precisely because of my life-long commitment to Jesus and his Way." 

I am not a Jesus feminist, but I want to be. 

I am a Christian and I am a feminist, but I am not a Jesus feminist, at least not according to this definition. I am not a feminist because I am a Christian. In fact, I've spent the past decade declaring that I am a feminist despite the fact that I am a Christian, or vice versa. I've spent the past decade wrestling like Jacob with the angel trying to reconcile these two belief systems that are at the center of almost all that I do. 

But I am tired of the battle. 

And this battle is a silly one. 

Jesus is my favorite feminist. Reading the Gospels, it's clear that Christ saw women as people. He didn't treat us differently from men. As Bessey writes:

We weren't too precious for words, dainty like fine china. We received no free pass or delicate worries about our ability to understand or contribute or work. Women were not too sweet or weak for the conviction of the Holy Spirit, or too manipulative and prone to jealousy, insecurity, and deception to push back the kingdom of darkness. Jesus did not patronize, and he did not condescend. 

Bessey, a Canadian, didn't grow up with many of the ideas about gender roles that prevail in America, especially in the Southeast where I live. She didn't face these issues until later in her Christian life.

Ironically, even though I'm a Southern girl I didn't grow up with gender stereotypes either. My parents always taught me I could be whatever I wanted to be. Period. But I'll never forget the day when, excited by a sermon I'd just heard, I remarked that the preacher got me so interested in the Bible that it made me want to go to Bible college and be a preacher one day myself. I was quickly corrected by a well-meaning elder: "Now, you know women can't be preachers." 

Disillusion and disappointment have marked much of my church life due to attitudes regarding gender, race, sexuality, class and more. I've even gone through periods where I've stopped going to church altogether. 

But as Bessey writes, quoting Sara Miles, "You can't be a Christian by yourself." 

So as I continue to re-read Jesus Feminist I will continue to deal with my doubts, my questions, and my hurts. I will continue to, as Bessey suggests, lean into the pain, trusting that there is a balm in Gilead. 

If you are reading Jesus Feminist along with me, please leave your thoughts on chapters 1-3 in the comments section. 

This month I'm kicking off the Writeous Babe Book Club with Sarah Bessey's Jesus Feminist.

I want to discuss this book online and hope to even start a Jesus Feminist small group at my church because I believe in the power of women sharing their stories. As author Rachel Held Evans says in the foreword to Jesus Feminist: "For women who bear the stories of patriarchy, freedom begins with the telling; it begins with those first tender words spoken out loud or written down on paper: 'When I was a little girl,' 'I remember,' 'Once.'"

I appreciate that Bessey opens this book with Idelette McVicker's "Let Us Be Women Who Love." Even in the 21st century feminism is often equated with anger and hate. But in truth feminism, especially Jesus feminism, is all about freedom and love.

She invites us to metaphorically join her on a beautiful beach to talk about "womanhood, church, the labels, and where we go from here."


In my eyes she also invites us to rest, which I appreciate because I'm tired.

I'm tired of being defensive. I'm tired of  trying to "right every wrong and defend every truth, refute every inflammatory blog post, pontificate about every question."

Bessey admits in her introduction that years ago she struggled with these things too, that she "practiced anger and cynicism like a pianist practices scales, over and over."

As women in church and elsewhere we often exclaim that we just want a seat at the table. This can cause us to resent both men and women who've already pulled up a chair.

Bessey offers a new idea:

"And someday -- I really believe this -- we will throw our arms around the people of the Table as they break up the burnished oak. We'll be there to help them heave it out the windows, smashing every glass ceiling" the transparent, mirrored, and stained glass-- all shards of broken lies now." 

I invite you to join me on this journey. During the month of April let's read Jesus Feminist and discuss it here once a week on this blog. For those of you in Birmingham I'd also love to get together to discuss the book as a whole at the end of the month.

I'll be back next Tuesday (April 8) to discuss chapters 1-3.

I hope you'll join me.

In the meantime please leave your thoughts on the foreword and introduction in the comments section.

Happy reading!