Today is the last day of #bloglikecrazy. I did it! I blogged every day for 30 days straight!

One of my goals for the month was to figure out exactly what I wanted for the future of my blog. My hope was to announce these plans in today's post.

The timing, I thought, would be perfect. Not only is today the final day of my big blogging challenge, but tomorrow is the first day of December. Though I do spend this month feeling queasy over Christmas, I also spend this month drafting a long list of goals for the upcoming year. In fact, I got so excited thinking about 2013 I had completed my list of aspirations two weeks ago.

And then I deleted it.

I deleted it because while I've been blogging like crazy, I've also been praying like crazy. My relationship with God has transformed and suddenly I want to let go of my plan for my life and follow God's plan for my life instead.

(You should have seen this coming.)

No, this doesn't mean I'm going to get all weird on you or act "holier than thou" as my mom would say. And this doesn't mean I'm not going to have a list of goals for 2013. I believe God made me a dreamer for a reason. I believe God wants me to be ambitious. I'm still going to spend this month drafting that list for 2013. But I want God to be at the center of all those aspirations. I want my plans to focus on helping others not just making a name for myself in Birmingham, the blogosphere and beyond.

I think I figured out a while ago why God put me in the world. Now I need to figure out why God put me in the world wide web. I hope you'll go with me on this journey as I strive to redefine my goals.

And I leave you with my music mantra for this next month.

Ironically, one of the best things that have come out of the #bloglikecrazy project has nothing to do with blogging.

Throughout the month members of See Jane Write who have participated in the challenge have been sharing links to their posts on See Jane Write Facebook group page. Through these posts we quickly realized that many, if not most, of us have a strong interest in fitness.

So Tanya Sylvan had the great idea of organizing See Jane Move -- an event to both celebrate the completion of #bloglikecrazy and help us all in our quest to stay or get in shape.

On Saturday, Dec. 1 at 10 a.m. we will meet at Railroad Park, 1600 1st Ave. S., Birmingham, for a walk/run. Feel free to roller skate or dance or do whatever you please. Just keep moving.

Bring a healthy snack to share. After exercising we will sit down and enjoy a little picnic brunch.

I hope those of you in Birmingham this weekend will join us. You can RSVP here or leave a comment on this post letting me know you'll be there.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: why should writers care about fitness? You can't write a best seller or an award-winning blog if you're dead!

Cross-posted at the See Jane Write blog. 

As #bloglikecrazy comes to an end you may be thinking, “OMG! I need a blogging sabbatical after this!” But please resist the temptation to take a hiatus. Most likely, you’ve picked up a following of new readers or won back old ones this month. This is no time to give them the silent treatment.

Please know I’m mostly talking to myself here. And so, I recently turned to a few of my blogging buddies for some time management tips. I decided to specifically ask bloggers who are also moms for help. Why? Because I figure if they can find time to blog with kids running around the house I really have no excuse.

Rachel Callahan

Time management has become increasingly important for Rachel Callahan of the blog Grasping for Objectivity.

At the beginning of this year, Callahan embarked on a study of how to successfully utilize Pinterest as a blogger. (The results of her studies can be found on Birmingham Blogging Academy here and here.)

Callahan explains: “When I wrote those posts, I only thought I had experienced virality, with about 20,000 pins of my posts.  A month later, I found myself getting 1 million hits on my blog in a little over a month, up to 88,000 hits in a day, and eventually leveling out to 10-15,000 visitors per day.  Before the summer, I was getting 1,000 hits a day!  As of today, I have nearly 300,000 pins of my posts on Pinterest and adding around 2,000 pins a day, with my Inconvenient Gap of Truth post creating most of that traffic.”

More hits, however, mean more work.

“I am determined to answer all emails and question comments, and a million hits create a LOT of emails and question comments,” she said. Also, in addition to making a lot of money from her ad networks after this boost in traffic, Callahan was contacted by a major denim manufacturer for consultation for their lines.

So how does she find time to do it all and be a wife and mother of two?

“I try to get as many posts done on the weekend as possible, because of the demands of simply keeping up with my emails and comments during the week,” she said.

And throughout the week Callahan always takes advantage of her kids’ nap time.

“Those couple of hours every day is when I accomplish blogging, working from home for my husband's company, answering email and comments, and everything else that has to be done,” she said.

Another piece of advice Callahan offered for all bloggers: “Try to capitalize on your brain when you're in the right mindset to write. I have learned to sense when writing will come easily and when it will be excruciating.  When I'm in the right mindset, I try to write as much as I possibly can.  When I'm in the wrong mindset, I use my time more efficiently by answering emails, comments, and other administrative tasks.”

Amber Wright

Amber Wright started her blog The YeYo Diaries to document her journey of pregnancy and motherhood and to use as a virtual scrapbook for her family. She also writes about marriage and relationships, easy recipes, pop culture, and other topics.

Wright juggles blogging with a full-time job and a part-time job, along with being a wife and mother. She stressed the importance of consistently setting aside time to blog, “even if it’s only an hour to get one or two posts done,” she said. “It will leave you feeling focused and accomplished!”

Wright usually writes on Sunday and she keeps a running list of topics for inspiration.

“A couple of time management tips I’d offer other bloggers are to know why you’re doing it,” Wright said. “Is it for fun and leisure? To grow an audience? Promote a cause? Knowing why you’re blogging will keep you from wasting time on it.”

Laura Kate Whitney

Laura Kate Whitney, author of the popular Birmingham-based blog Magic City Made, gave advice specifically geared toward mothers, but tips that any of us could use. She suggests that you set aside a certain time and place to blog. 

“With little ones around, there will never be a good time to blog, so just assign yourself a time and place to get it done,” Whitney said. “But unless you're getting paid to post on time, don't fret being a bit late. You are, after all, a mother. The job tends to pull from all angles. It's okay.”

                  

That said, Whitney stressed that it is important for moms to be vigilant enough to get in time to write, even if it means getting a neighbor or your spouse to watch the kiddos while you steal a few quiet moments alone with your laptop.

“Sometimes we mamas put everybody else first, and our own interests take a back seat,” she said. “Make time to get those words out, Mama. You deserve it.”

Cross-posted at the See Jane Write blog. 

Today I ended my brief hiatus from running.

Using one of the Hal Higdon programs, I am now training to run my second half marathon. 

I will be honest with you: I don't want to run another half marathon. I'm tired of running. Within the past several months it somehow stopped being fun. Furthermore, I gained weight the last time I was training for the Mercedes Half and since I currently weigh more than I ever have in my entire life, I can't really afford to pack on any additional pounds. 

But I'm training for this race nonetheless. Why? 

Well, I've mentioned before that I'm a quitter. When I get bored with something I have absolutely no problem just walking away. Sometimes this is a good thing. I don't waste time on television shows after the story lines get ridiculous. And, with one exception, I've dropped no-good boyfriends pretty quickly. 

But this can also be bad. I believe one of the reasons I haven't achieved the success I dream of in my writing career is because I don't follow through. I very easily get bored with blogs and book ideas and abandon them for a shiny new project. If I could just stick to something I think I could really have a breakthrough. 

So I'm training for this half marathon as a way of proving to myself that I can follow through. I keep thinking that if I stick to running perhaps through this I can condition myself to stick to other endeavors too and this quitter will finally be reformed. 

For the past two weeks I've been rocking straight hair. This isn't something that happens often. About twice a year I go to my favorite hairstylist to have my hair flat ironed straight. My stylist prefers to cut my hair while it's straight (although she can cut curly hair too) so usually I get my hair flat ironed when I need a trim. Sometimes, I get my hair straightened just because I'm bored; and sometimes it's because I want to wear a cute hat (most of which will not fit over my crazy curls).

The four to six months in between my flat iron rendezvous is somehow enough time for nearly every person in my life to forget that I occasionally straighten my hair. Therefore, when I do smooth out my curls, I am inevitably inundated with questions such as "Is that really all your hair?" A student of mine actually had the audacity to ask me this (and with a stank attitude, might I add). I guess this child doesn't understand that curly hair will be longer when straightened. And I teach at a school for smart kids! Sigh.



The question that bothers me most, however, is "Why don't you wear your hair straight all the time?" 

Really, people? Does my natural hair bother you that much that you'd prefer I heat and beat it into submission all year? If so, that sucks for you because I love my curls. 

Even though India Arie's song "I Am Not My Hair" was once my mantra, I must admit I feel a bit weird when my hair is straight. When my hair is curly I feel like more of myself and I feel more carefree. With straight tresses I worry way too much about my hair getting wet. And I when I go to the gym all I can do is weight training because after even a short cardio workout my curls will come back with a vengeance before I'm ready for them to return. 

Besides, my curly coif is like my trademark or my brand and how people find me in a crowd. 

So today the curls are back. Oh, how I've missed you. 

Last night I almost had a heated debate with my younger brother over the issue of women who don't take their husbands last names. He said that if his girlfriend didn't take his last name after marriage it would be no point in getting married in the first place. 

I had to interject. I asked him if he'd be willing to take her last name. Of course, my brother said "no" and looked at me as if I were insane, as many men would. I went on to say that it's unfair for him to ask his girlfriend to do something that he wouldn't be willing to do and that not having his name wouldn't make her any less of his wife. My brother wasn't hearing any of this and I knew it. So I quickly ended the conversation because I didn't want it to turn into an argument. But I wish I'd kept the talk going so that we could have understood where each other were coming from. 

I took my husband's last name but it's a decision I often regret. Please don't think that statement is a reflection of my feelings for my husband. He is the love of my life and an amazing man. He's an amazing man who says things like "I would be honored if you took my last name, but I completely understand if you decide not to." That statement was one of the reasons I did decide, after nearly a year of marriage, to change my last name.

But I also decided to take his name because having different last names was such a hassle. Things like banking and signing leases were difficult and I grew tired of all the questions and rude remarks from others that I endured during the several months before I did change my name. 

I've always been disappointed in myself for caving under the pressure to conform. 

I completely understand why the notion of women keeping their maiden names seems so strange and perhaps even wrong to my brother. Here in the South it’s not as common. Nor do you see couples adopting a completely new name or both partners hyphenating their last names – which are practices I observed when living on the West Coast.

My brother expects his wife to take his name – "to represent him" as he said during our talk – because that’s the way things have always been done. It’s tradition. Furthermore, many men – my husband included – even see it as a way for a woman to give honor to her man.

But doing things primarily for the sake of tradition can be dangerous. The people who didn’t want women to vote were trying to maintain the status quo. People who didn’t want children of different races to be educated in the same classroom were trying to uphold tradition.

Now I’m in no way saying this name issue is as serious as women’s suffrage or racial segregation. The act of keeping one’s maiden name is mostly a statement, but an important one; it is a statement against the sexism that is still alive and well in our country.

Some people say it’s silly for a woman to try to fight patriarchy by keeping her maiden name because most likely her last name is from her father. Those people are missing the point. Regardless of the origin of your name it’s still your name! It’s the name you’ve been called all your life. It’s the name printed on symbols of accomplishment such as your high school diploma and your college degrees. And for me it was also the byline on a decade’s worth of newspaper and magazine articles I had written.

After being married for nearly 7 years I have adjusted to my new name. As a freelance journalist I’m building a body of work under the name Javacia Harris Bowser. And since I teach high school full time and thus hear “Ms. Bowser! Ms. Bowser!” about 100 times a day, my husband’s last name finally feels like my own.

The writer/English teacher in me has also decided to attach symbolism to this new name of mind. I see it as the mark of a new era of my life, just as characters in the Bible often had their names changed after a spiritual transformation.

Still, if I could do it all over again I probably would not change my name. But this would not make me any less committed to or respectful of my husband.

I recognize that some men feel emasculated when their wives don’t take their name. And some men may think it makes them appear weak. This is, to me, another example of how sexism hurts men too. A man’s worth should not be measured by how much power he can wield over his wife; it should be about how much he loves her.

Understand that this is not a call for all women to stop taking their husbands’ last names. My point is that it should always be a woman’s choice. She shouldn’t feel pressured by her new husband, her in-laws or anyone else. Some women love the notion of taking their husband’s name and see it as a sacred, symbolic gesture. And that’s great. But some women feel as if they’re losing their identity by changing their names and the wishes of those women should not be attacked or pushed aside simply for the sake of tradition. 

Necole Bitchie
Image via iamnecole.com

While cruising around in Twitterville last night I happened upon a link to an interview with celebrity gossip blogger Necole Bitchie. If you've been reading this blog even for a week you probably won't be surprised to know that celebrity gossip isn't really my thing. I frequent blogs about feminism, writing, faith, and living your best life. But the tweet about this article caught my eye because it mentioned Ms. Bitchie "falling out of love with her blog." 

I've been there. 

It happened with my previous blog Georgia Mae. And one of the reasons I have yet to make any moves toward starting an online magazine is my fear that eventually I'd lose passion for the project. So, I was interested in what Necole had to say about this and about blogging in general. 


Interviewer Jerrod Hobbs of CarltonJordan.com asked Necole if people need to live in a certain area to be a successful blogger. Ms. Bitchie stated that if your goal is to be an entertainment news and celebrity gossip blogger with exclusive coverage then being near a major city like Los Angeles, New York or Atlanta is probably your best bet. But she went on to say, "The good thing about living in other cities across the nation is that you can be that ‘It person’ for your city." 

I think this doesn't just have to apply to celebrity news. I've heard and read advice from successful bloggers in a variety of niches recommending that emerging bloggers seek to take a local approach to their topics. I've been considering this myself. Can the See Jane Write blog become the source for news and information on Birmingham's literary and media arts communities?


Later in the interview Ms. Bitchie told Hobbs that between March 2011 and May 2012 she had to take a break from her site to deal with some personal issues. Meanwhile, her brand was changed into something different from what she created and that's what caused her to fall out of love with blogging for a bit. 

I think there's a valuable lesson we can all learn for this and I think it goes back to the idea of having a mission statement for your blog or any project. You need a clear vision for your work and you need to stay focused on that always. 

This, perhaps, is the solution to staying motivated and committed, the key to staying passionate about what you do. In the interview Necole Bitchie discussed the importance of following through and said the secret to sticking with it is to do what makes you happy. Don't chase blogging trends; tackle topics you truly care about. 

Being true to your mission and to your voice will also help you keep readers. These things will make your blog and your brand consistent which will make your readers loyal. Ms. Bitchie explained it this way: "A good brand makes people feel a certain way and gives a certain experience.  People are loyal to things because of the way they make them feel."

To read the CarltonJordan.com interview with Necole Bitchie click here. 

Cross-posted at the See Jane Write blog.