Reverb11 Prompt #31: Where do you hope to be on Jan 1, 2013?

On Jan. 1, 2013 I hope to be doing the same thing I plan to be doing on the morning of Jan. 1, 2012 -- having brunch. New Year's Day brunch has been a tradition of mine for several years and one I hope to continue for many more. 

But at brunch on New Year's Day 2013, things will be different; I will be different. My mantra for for this new year is Getting Well in 2012. Yes, I know it's a bit lame that it rhymes, but that doesn't take detract from its purposefulness. My goal for 2012 is to get healthy in every way. 

I want to be physically healthy and I plan to do that by adopting a regular exercise regimen, taking my medication as my doctor tells me to, and making better food choices. In fact, my hope is that  by the end of 2012 this junk food junkie will be a bonafide foodie.

I want to be financially healthy. So I'm going to freelance like crazy and use the extra money to pay off credit card debt. 

I want to be mentally and emotionally healthy. I'm going to stop being in denial about my depression and do something about it. 

I want to be spiritually healthy. There was a point in my life, just before I moved back to Birmingham, when I was so close to God it was as if I could feel God holding my hand as I walked down a sidewalk. I remember one day He seemed so close it felt like I was sitting in His lap while I had lunch with a friend. Seriously. In 2012, I'm determined to get that feeling back. 

So on Jan. 1, 2013, I plan to be at brunch as always, but I hope to be the happiest and healthiest Javacia you have ever known. 

Thanks for reverbing with me this month. Let's make 2012 our best year yet!

Reverb11: Note to Self

Reverb11 Prompt #30: Write a letter to your future self.

Hey you,

Guess what? You did it!

Love,

J.

Prompt #26: What are 12 things your life doesn't need in 2012? 
Prompt #27: What are 12 things you want to add to your life in 2012?


12 Things I Plan to Rid My Life of in 2012
1. Negative self talk. Every year I promise to stop calling myself fat. In 2012 I'm going to actually do it. (I hope.)
2. Credit card debt.
3. Depression. 
4. Clutter! I am such a pack rat. 
5. Self-doubt
6. My addiction to sugar
7. Guilt over saying "no"
8. Grudges
9. My tendency to be overly concerned with what others think of me
10. My tendency to compare myself to others (I must accept I'll never look like Beyonce.) 
11. My tendency to over commit 
12. My stupid Blackberry. (This year I swear I'm going to be a big girl and finally get an iPhone.)


12 Things I Want to Add to My Life in 2012 
1. A new BFF
2. More free time (not yet sure how I'm going to pull this one off)
3. More freelancing opportunities.
4. Healthy eating habits. 
5. Things to make my apartment welcoming, cozy, and beautiful. 
6. More quality time with hubs.
7. I want to spend more time with family.
8. I want to make time to actually talk to friends on the phone instead of via text, email, or social media. 
9. A new wardrobe!
10. A deeper relationship with God.
11. More blog followers (here and at GeorgiaMae.com)
12. More social media knowledge

Reverb11: Run, Girl!

Reverb Prompt #28: What new strengths did you discover about yourself this year? 


One of the greatest strengths I discovered about myself this year was realizing that my body, despite its connective tissue disease and other chronic pain disorders, is strong enough to run. Here are a few things things that keep me going when I'm tempted to throw in the towel on my new sport: 

My Reverb11 Prompt #20 asks: How did you build community this year? 


That's easy. I started a group for local female writers called See Jane Write. 

Here I am with a few lovely ladies who spoke on the See Jane Write "So You Think You Can Blog" panel. 

I helped a local lady by the name of Katrina Watson build a social group for women of color with natural hair called Birmingham Natural Beauties. 

Birmingham Natural Beauties Leadership Team

I joined Black Girls Run Birmingham, the local chapter of a natural organization that seeks to encourage women of color to run and stay fit. 

A few ladies of Black Girls Run Birmingham after a run this fall. 

And I led a women's small group for my church. 

Here I am with a few ladies from my small group at this year's ReCreate Women's Conference

Through all these efforts to build community many new friendships blossomed (which prompt #21 asks). These groups added beauty to my life (prompt #24) and I pray that through them I added beauty to the lives of others (prompt #25). 


Yet despite all these efforts I must confess that as 2011 draws to a close I find myself feeling very lonely. Lately, I've even been asking God for new friends, a prayer that makes me feel like the lamest girl in the world. 

I hope this request doesn't make me sound ungrateful. I have plenty of wonderful women in my life I consider to be fantastic friends, such as the women I've met through the aforementioned groups. But many of my closest friends don't live in Birmingham and I’m also finding that many of my friends – those local and elsewhere – and I don’t have much in common anymore. We may have one thing that links us – such as our job or our church – but we don’t truly have similar passions or even listen to the same music. I don’t even have any local friends to talk to about Grey’s Anatomy!

Prompt #22 asks: Who do you miss? That's an easy one too. I really miss my gal pal Maisy. We worked together when I was full-time journalist in Louisville. We became instant BFFs not simply because we worked together (in an office the size of my bedroom) but also because we had so much in common -- our love for writing, pop culture, fashion, Mexican food, and even Hello Kitty, just to name a few. Our husbands had a lot in common too which was another plus. These days I'm in Birmingham and she's in Boston. She's also a mom now and I'm essentially juggling two careers along with all my community involvement so we don't get to talk much. Oh, how I miss her. 

Making friends as an adult is so hard. As kids you could just walk up to someone on the playground ask them if they’d be your best friend and you were set. If you did that now you’d probably be reported to human resources. 

Furthermore, I’m at a strange stage in my life that causes making friends to be even tougher: I’m married, but childless, and, right now, plan to stay that way. So I don’t fit in with most single women because I’m completely over the party scene, but I don’t fit in with most married women either because I don’t have children. I have the liberty to go out to dinner, to the movies, to my favorite winery for a drink or to my favorite trail for a run whenever I want and I don’t have to find a babysitter first. So my lifestyle simply doesn’t mesh well with that of a young mother. 

In 2012 I'm hoping to attract new girlfriends who share several of my interests (prompt #23). Because I’m a journalist I'm naturally curious about most things. So I can sit and listen to someone talk about their kids or their garden for hours even though I’m not a parent and don’t have a yard. But selfishly I want a friend who will listen to me talk about running and blogging and who will get my references to The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl. And if it's not too much to ask, I'd love for her to live in Birmingham so we can have these chats over mango margaritas, not via Skype. 

In closing, here's a fitting video from the greatest girl group of all time (in my humble opinion). 

 I decided to tackle prompts 15-19 together. Here they are: 


15. Which blogs did you enjoy most this year?
16. Oprah asks you to write an article on your favorite things of 2011. What are they? 
17. What were your favorite songs of the year? 
18. What books did you read?
19. What movies did you see?


And so here are a few of my favorite blogs, songs, books, and movies from 2011.


Blogs I Love

Danielle Hampton of Sometimes Sweet
image via Hello Giggles

Hampton's site Sometimes Sweet is a fantastic lifestyles blog that reminds me to cherish every moment of every day.  

Elsie Larson of A Beautiful Mess

Larson's blog A Beautiful Mess inspires me to fill my world with beauty and she recently wrote something that completely describes my own approach to life: "The older I get the more I feel like I live for goals." You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. 

Nik G. of Nik Star Was Here

I always feel like I'm hanging out with an old girlfriend when I'm reading Nik G.'s blog Nik Star Was Here, which features fashion, food, fitness and more. Check out my Q&A with her. 

Sarah McColl of Pink of Perfection
image via The Haystack Needle

I can always count on Sarah McColl's Pink of Perfection for inspiration or a quick pick-me-up. 

My theme song of the year!

Books I couldn't put down...

The nerdy girls always read the book before we see the movie. And speaking of movies...


My Favorite Films of 2011

What were your favorite blogs, songs, books, and movies of 2011?

Sorry, I've been a bit behind with my Reverb posts, but allow me to try to catch up. 


Prompt 14 reads "Write about a time this year when you persevered." This was a hard prompt to consider because honestly, I feel I'm still in the midst of trying to persevere. I've been struggling with a lot emotionally, spiritually, and physically this year and I've frequently wanted to throw in the towel on my dreams, my community activities, my writing, and even my social life. But I'm doing my best to keep things moving along. 

image via

On the other hand, prompt 13 asked, "Write about a time this year when you gave up." This one is pretty easy. Last month I foolishly decided to sign up for National Novel Writing Month. I actually thought I could find time to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Let's remember that I work full-time as a high school English teacher (which means I spend most evenings grading papers), I maintain two blogs, I freelance for several publications, I'm training for a half marathon, I was taking an online college course and I was leading a small group for my church. And somehow I thought I would be able to write a novel too. As my husband would say, "Playa please!"  It was a horrible idea and I gave up one week in. I don't regret quitting that project. I was insane to even attempt it. Maybe I'll try again next year. Maybe not. 

So on Day 7 of Reverb11 I decided to torture myself by reflecting on all the goals I failed to accomplish in hopes that I would figure out what I did wrong so I could bring those dreams to fruition in 2012. Instead I just got depressed and didn't post for the next few days. 


No, I'm just kidding (sort of). I didn't post for a few days simply because I was busy writing a 31-page exam, grading 70 article summaries and 16 oral presentations, trying to complete an online college course, and trying to squeeze in regular runs and holiday parties. Whew! 


So today I'm going to pick things up again. 


Prompt 8: Looking back on this year, what would you do differently?


To be honest, I would listen to my husband more. As I've expressed in responses to other prompts, this year has been very overwhelming for me in part because of health issues but mostly because I got involved in far too many things. Edd warned me that this would happen. But I was stubborn, said yes to everything and ended up drowning in tasks. 


Fortunately, he's sweet enough to never say I told you so.


Prompt 9: How did you have fun this year? 


Even though being involved in so many community activities has been the source of so much of my stress this year it's also been the source of so much fun. From mixers with other local natural hair beauties to meetings with my running group to creating a networking group for local women writers, these organizations have helped me fall in love with my city. 

Here I am with the lovely ladies of Birmingham Natural Beauties

Here I am with a few of the amazing women of Black Girls Run Birmingham.
We were volunteering at the Ruben Studdard Half-Marathon and everyone said we had the best water station.
Go BGR!

Prompt 10: Where did you visit?


I spent several days in Louisville, the hometown of my heart, and we took our usual trips to Virginia to visit the in-laws. Here I am at Virginia Beach:

I also spent a lot of time in Atlanta this year attending conferences. 


Prompt 11: How did you celebrate and take care of your body this year? 


I made a decision to stop worrying about how much my body weighs and start focusing on what it can do. And right now I'm determined to prove that this body can run a half marathon!

Prompt 12: What or whom did you let go of this year? Why? 


I'm not sure why I chose this prompt because honestly I don't think I've let go of anything this year, but I mean that in a good way. As challenging as this year has been, I've actually found so many of my deferred dreams revived. I don't know if I've hit rock bottom and, therefore, figure things can't go anywhere but up, but oddly enough, even though I feel really down most days I am still hopeful that things will get better, that a change will come, and that one day all my dreams will come true. 

Reverb 11 Day 7 -- Today's Prompt: What goals for the year did you fail to meet?

I suppose it's not healthy to dwell on your failures, but perhaps taking a look at a few of them will help me figure out what I need to do differently next year. 


I failed to stop using credit cards. This is partially Uncle Sam's fault. We owed a lot at tax time and had to charge it. But later I decided to also use that credit card to buy hubs an insanely expensive suit and register for a writing conference. Guess I can't blame Uncle Sam for that. 


I failed to keep off the weight I lost at the beginning of the year. I'm eating Tropical Chewy Lemonheads & Friends as I type this so I guess we all know how that happened.


Sadly, I didn't do many of the fun things I planned to do with hubs this year such as have a picnic at Railroad Park or go to our city's popular Crawfish Boil. 


And my attempt to write a novel in 30 days through the National Novel Writing Month was an epic fail: I quit about one week in. 


Well, now that I'm thoroughly depressed, I'm going to go eat some more lemonheads. 


I'll be back tomorrow to discuss what I think I should have done differently. Maybe. 

Reverb11 Day 6 -- Today's prompt: What goals for 2011 did you accomplish? 


Sorry I'm so late posting this. It's been a long day. 


I accomplished quite a bit this year. I think turning 30 lit a fire under me. 


Here are a few of the goals from my list of 2011 aspirations that I've been able to check off:


Dance in a flash mob
Go to Fro Fashion Week
Write for Hairpin
Write for Clutch 
Get published in Skirt
Lead a small group for my church


What did you accomplish this year? 

Day 5 of Reverb11 - Today's Prompt: What lessons did you learn this year? 

The main thing I learned about myself this year is that I am at my best when I'm obsessed. Let me explain. 


I have learned that when I decide to do something and I focus on that goal to the point of borderline obsession that goal is always accomplished. Always. At the beginning of the year I was obsessed with losing weight healthily through increased exercise and a balanced diet. I dropped 15 pounds. (Unfortunately, I have since picked them back up.) 


Then I became was obsessed with starting a networking group for women writers in Birmingham. At my first event I had 14 ladies show up for dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. Four months later I had an event that drew all most 70 women. 


In the summer and fall I was obsessed with getting more freelance writing gigs. I've found myself with so many opportunities I'm struggling to juggle them with my full time job. 


The problem with being so driven by desire, however, is that I can't be highly successful at several things at once operating this way. Case in point: I started to gain my weight back as soon as my focus shifted to the writing group. 


I still have yet to learn how to balance my passions. Perhaps that wisdom will come to me in 2012. 


What did you learn about yourself this year?

Reverb11 Day 4 - Today's Prompt: When did you struggle?

As I mentioned yesterday I've been having a rough time since early August. To avoid throwing a virtual pity party for myself, I'll give you the Cliff's Notes (or Spark Notes for you youngsters). 


Since August I've found myself very unhappy professionally (cry every morning before work unhappy) and I've made the mistake of committing myself to far too many community activities. I'm involved in so much I barely have time to sleep. 


I'm constantly sick and an illness I was diagnosed with about four years ago has started to get worse. Now this disease is not only affecting my connective tissues and causing severe fatigue and joint and muscle pain, but it is possibly now taking its toll on my nervous system making me prone to depression and making it nearly impossible for me to deal with stress. 


I've been a mess, but I haven't lost hope. In fact just today, perhaps just in time for this post, while at a church-related women's retreat I got some direction on what needs to be done to pull myself out of this funk. 


I realized I've been running on empty. I've been so busy I haven't taken time to do things that truly nurture my soul -- which for me is spending time studying Scripture and writing in my prayer journal. 


A wise woman who spoke at today's retreat also talked about the importance of "condensing your calling." Instead of saying yes to every little thing that sounds a little bit interesting, I need to focus on activities that are related to my true purpose. And the only way to figure out that true purpose, the only way to know my calling is to get back to those quiet times of devotion, those moments of study and prayer. 

Day 3 of Reverb11. Today's prompt: When were you most grateful?

Since the first week of August I have been having an extremely rough time (more on this tomorrow) yet ironically it has been during this time that I've found myself extremely grateful. Why? Because of this guy: 

Hubs and I one New Year's Eve (and lots of drunk people in the back)

That's my hubs. We've been married for about five and a half years and frankly I can't believe he's put up with me for that long. 

Through this difficult time I've questioned nearly everything: my purpose, my dreams, my strength, my sanity, and even the genuineness of most of my friendships. But I never have to question my husband's love for me. And through all of this he's been there with a shoulder for me to cry on and ear to listen to all my troubles. And he's been there encouraging me to dust myself off and get back in the game. 

image via

Welcome back for Day 2 of Reverb11. 


Today's prompt: What three words capture 2011? What three words describe how you feel about 2012?


My words for 2011 are: community, challenge, and overwhelmed.


Community: Near the beginning of the year I made a promise to myself to be truly committed to building community. So I started a group for local women writers, joined a social group for local women with natural hair, signed up to be a small group leader at my church and joined a running group. (More on these to come on Day 20.). Yep, I think that makes me pretty committed to community. 


Challenge: Speaking of that running group, this year I challenged myself to try things I'd never done before and one of the greatest examples would be taking up the new hobby of running. I have a connective tissue disease that makes high impact exercise extremely difficult. In fact, some doctors believe people with my disease shouldn't run at all. But I've spent this year running away from can't. 


Overwhelmed. This is both a good and bad thing. I'm overwhelmed by all that I've accomplished this year and by all the wonderful people I've met, but lately I've also been feeling overwhelmed by all the things staring at me on my to-do list. I was a bit too ambitious this year and made the mistake of over committing myself and now, frankly, I'm paying for it. 


My words for 2012 are: determination, wellness, and fun


Determination: Though I accomplished much this year, there are still many goals I failed to meet. In 2012 I will take a fresh approach to these aspirations and I am determined to see these dreams come to fruition. 


Wellness. My mantra for the New Year is "Getting Well in 2012." I must start taking better care of myself not only through regular exercise, but by eating better and cutting back on some activities so that I can rest more. 


Fun. During these stressful times I've been facing lately I've learned that no matter how much you have on your plate, things go down easy when you try to have a good time with your tasks. So next year my focus will be simply to have fun no matter what I'm doing. 


Your turn!