Reverb 11 Day 7 -- Today's Prompt: What goals for the year did you fail to meet?

I suppose it's not healthy to dwell on your failures, but perhaps taking a look at a few of them will help me figure out what I need to do differently next year. 


I failed to stop using credit cards. This is partially Uncle Sam's fault. We owed a lot at tax time and had to charge it. But later I decided to also use that credit card to buy hubs an insanely expensive suit and register for a writing conference. Guess I can't blame Uncle Sam for that. 


I failed to keep off the weight I lost at the beginning of the year. I'm eating Tropical Chewy Lemonheads & Friends as I type this so I guess we all know how that happened.


Sadly, I didn't do many of the fun things I planned to do with hubs this year such as have a picnic at Railroad Park or go to our city's popular Crawfish Boil. 


And my attempt to write a novel in 30 days through the National Novel Writing Month was an epic fail: I quit about one week in. 


Well, now that I'm thoroughly depressed, I'm going to go eat some more lemonheads. 


I'll be back tomorrow to discuss what I think I should have done differently. Maybe. 

Reverb11 Day 6 -- Today's prompt: What goals for 2011 did you accomplish? 


Sorry I'm so late posting this. It's been a long day. 


I accomplished quite a bit this year. I think turning 30 lit a fire under me. 


Here are a few of the goals from my list of 2011 aspirations that I've been able to check off:


Dance in a flash mob
Go to Fro Fashion Week
Write for Hairpin
Write for Clutch 
Get published in Skirt
Lead a small group for my church


What did you accomplish this year? 

I've Got a (Girl) Crush on You

Demetria L. Lucas posted a great story at Vibe Vixen yesterday on the beauty of girl crushes. 


First of all, she explained that a girl crush is not about the girl-on-girl action that fills the sexual fantasies of way too many men. A girl crush is strictly platonic and is about being infatuated with a woman who possesses traits you admire such as "beauty, sophistication, sass, confidence, etc."


Lucas believes that every girl needs a girl crush and I completely agree. Lucas writes:

Having a girl crush also tells something else about you. There’s a certain type of woman who can see a fabulous fly woman and lift her up, instead of tear her down. If you’ve got a crush, you’re the type that bypasses buying into the negativity that is often associated with women’s social interactions (thanks Wives’ franchises). Girls who crush on girls offer a positive expression for how we ladies, really–no, seriously–actually do get along.

I have so many girl crushes I can't keep count, but I thought it might be fun to highlight a few. 


Beyonce

I am a complete Beyonce stan. I think she's one of the most beautiful women on the planet, I love her music (in fact I'm rocking to her girl power anthem "Run the World" as I type this) and yes, I think she's a great role model for young girls. No, she's not perfect, but I admire her dedication to her work and how she always presents herself with such class and grace. And I love that she and Jay-Z did things the old-fashioned way: courtship, marriage, and then a child.


Michelle Obama

I love my first lady, y'all. How can you not have a crush on a first lady who knows how to Dougie, has great fashion sense, and has beautifully sculpted arms? And her campaign against childhood obesity is to be applauded. 




Zoe Saldana

image via

I've always enjoyed Zoe Saldana's movies and, yes, she is insanely beautiful, but I went gaga for her last year when I read her interview with Glamour magazine and found this quote from her:


"I love women. I worship women. Don’t want to be any other woman but myself."


The feminist in me couldn't help but fall for that. 




Scarlett Johansson


I'll be honest; Scarlet is on this list for a completely superficial reason: she's sexy as hell. Yes, she's a great actress and I respect her for that, but the quality she has that I want is pure sex appeal. She exudes it and looks hot even when she's not in some ridiculous sex pot pose. See:

Sex appeal is something I feel as if I've never possessed. I've been the smart girl, the cute girl, the fun and down-to-earth girl, but never the sexy lady. 


I know I'll probably lose my feminist card revoked for being concerned about such things. I know I shouldn't care about this, but I do. I want to feel sexy, dammit! So sue me. 


Sloane Crosley 

One of my biggest dreams in life is to publish a collection of essays. If I had the ability to write anything half as clever as Crosley's writings I'd probably have a book deal by now. Crosley is an amazingly skillful writer and is effortlessly funny. She must have that Tina Fey gene that makes it so that every thought you have is wonderfully witty even when you're not trying. If you don't know her books consider I Was Told There'd Be Cake and How'd You Get This Number your December reading assignments. Yes, there will be a quiz. 



Soledad O'Brien

I've never had aspirations of being in broadcast journalism, but Soledad O'Brien's compelling work -- such as the Black in America series -- motivates me to write things that matter, things that will really make a difference. 



Elsie Larson 

Elsie Larson isn't a famous actress or singer but still seems like a celebrity to me. She's a well-known blogger and I visit her site A Beautiful Mess every single day. It's odd that I love her blog so much. Many of her posts are on creating handmade fashion accessories, home decor, etc. -- a talent I don't possess AT ALL. But I live the life of a crafty lady vicariously through her blog. Larson is a vintage boutique owner and I enjoy her fashion posts too. Larson also makes lists of goals to celebrate her birthday just as I do. You see, we were meant to be friends.  


Who's your girl crush?


Crossposted on Georgia Mae. 

Day 5 of Reverb11 - Today's Prompt: What lessons did you learn this year? 

The main thing I learned about myself this year is that I am at my best when I'm obsessed. Let me explain. 


I have learned that when I decide to do something and I focus on that goal to the point of borderline obsession that goal is always accomplished. Always. At the beginning of the year I was obsessed with losing weight healthily through increased exercise and a balanced diet. I dropped 15 pounds. (Unfortunately, I have since picked them back up.) 


Then I became was obsessed with starting a networking group for women writers in Birmingham. At my first event I had 14 ladies show up for dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. Four months later I had an event that drew all most 70 women. 


In the summer and fall I was obsessed with getting more freelance writing gigs. I've found myself with so many opportunities I'm struggling to juggle them with my full time job. 


The problem with being so driven by desire, however, is that I can't be highly successful at several things at once operating this way. Case in point: I started to gain my weight back as soon as my focus shifted to the writing group. 


I still have yet to learn how to balance my passions. Perhaps that wisdom will come to me in 2012. 


What did you learn about yourself this year?

Reverb11 Day 4 - Today's Prompt: When did you struggle?

As I mentioned yesterday I've been having a rough time since early August. To avoid throwing a virtual pity party for myself, I'll give you the Cliff's Notes (or Spark Notes for you youngsters). 


Since August I've found myself very unhappy professionally (cry every morning before work unhappy) and I've made the mistake of committing myself to far too many community activities. I'm involved in so much I barely have time to sleep. 


I'm constantly sick and an illness I was diagnosed with about four years ago has started to get worse. Now this disease is not only affecting my connective tissues and causing severe fatigue and joint and muscle pain, but it is possibly now taking its toll on my nervous system making me prone to depression and making it nearly impossible for me to deal with stress. 


I've been a mess, but I haven't lost hope. In fact just today, perhaps just in time for this post, while at a church-related women's retreat I got some direction on what needs to be done to pull myself out of this funk. 


I realized I've been running on empty. I've been so busy I haven't taken time to do things that truly nurture my soul -- which for me is spending time studying Scripture and writing in my prayer journal. 


A wise woman who spoke at today's retreat also talked about the importance of "condensing your calling." Instead of saying yes to every little thing that sounds a little bit interesting, I need to focus on activities that are related to my true purpose. And the only way to figure out that true purpose, the only way to know my calling is to get back to those quiet times of devotion, those moments of study and prayer. 

Day 3 of Reverb11. Today's prompt: When were you most grateful?

Since the first week of August I have been having an extremely rough time (more on this tomorrow) yet ironically it has been during this time that I've found myself extremely grateful. Why? Because of this guy: 

Hubs and I one New Year's Eve (and lots of drunk people in the back)

That's my hubs. We've been married for about five and a half years and frankly I can't believe he's put up with me for that long. 

Through this difficult time I've questioned nearly everything: my purpose, my dreams, my strength, my sanity, and even the genuineness of most of my friendships. But I never have to question my husband's love for me. And through all of this he's been there with a shoulder for me to cry on and ear to listen to all my troubles. And he's been there encouraging me to dust myself off and get back in the game. 

image via

Welcome back for Day 2 of Reverb11. 


Today's prompt: What three words capture 2011? What three words describe how you feel about 2012?


My words for 2011 are: community, challenge, and overwhelmed.


Community: Near the beginning of the year I made a promise to myself to be truly committed to building community. So I started a group for local women writers, joined a social group for local women with natural hair, signed up to be a small group leader at my church and joined a running group. (More on these to come on Day 20.). Yep, I think that makes me pretty committed to community. 


Challenge: Speaking of that running group, this year I challenged myself to try things I'd never done before and one of the greatest examples would be taking up the new hobby of running. I have a connective tissue disease that makes high impact exercise extremely difficult. In fact, some doctors believe people with my disease shouldn't run at all. But I've spent this year running away from can't. 


Overwhelmed. This is both a good and bad thing. I'm overwhelmed by all that I've accomplished this year and by all the wonderful people I've met, but lately I've also been feeling overwhelmed by all the things staring at me on my to-do list. I was a bit too ambitious this year and made the mistake of over committing myself and now, frankly, I'm paying for it. 


My words for 2012 are: determination, wellness, and fun


Determination: Though I accomplished much this year, there are still many goals I failed to meet. In 2012 I will take a fresh approach to these aspirations and I am determined to see these dreams come to fruition. 


Wellness. My mantra for the New Year is "Getting Well in 2012." I must start taking better care of myself not only through regular exercise, but by eating better and cutting back on some activities so that I can rest more. 


Fun. During these stressful times I've been facing lately I've learned that no matter how much you have on your plate, things go down easy when you try to have a good time with your tasks. So next year my focus will be simply to have fun no matter what I'm doing. 


Your turn!